Every day I wake up I think about how It would have been so much better If I had died in my sleep the day before. I’m terribly lonely and feel like life is a chore. I’ve felt this way for over a decade and I don’t believe anything can make it better. I think about how I would end my life a lot. I wonder why God made me this way or if he honestly cares. I’ve hurt so much for so long that sometimes I just cry in the dark when I’m alone. I diet, pray, act kindly and open but its all useless at the end of it all the feelings come back. The only thing keeping me alive is my responsibility to the people closet to me. I don’t want to hurt my family or my last good friend. I’m just sleepwalking through this world waiting to die.
2 comments
Thats just how I feel except praying and god bits. I can only say what Im told, try and hope for future improvements. I no just how it feels to be tired of it all though and its a shit feeling and place to be in.
your screen name, …. nobodyyoudknow, ……….. its funny becuase we all kinda know “like” souls.
You mentiontioned God, so there is a spark of belief in something.
Its a terrible thing to leave people behind with the pain that we will cause, yet even then some of those who we were close too us may understand.
I wish I could just disapear.
I’ve thought of walking into a swamp as far as I can walk with a pistol and offing myself where my body would probably decompose before anyone would find it, if ever found.
But I think I’m to vain for them not to know what happened to me.