My boyfriend of over a year, my one source of true stability, called it off. I feel lost…. If home is where the heart is, then where do I go from here?
This happened Friday night. Saturday, started cutting then  tried to OD. I don’t even know if it was to die or just impulse… I was hospitalized, and I don’t recommend getting hospitalized for an overdose of antidepressants. They poke you and stick you to an EKG five times and don’t let you sleep when that is all you want to do.
I think I am a little more OK now. I don’t want to cut at the moment nor am getting any dangerous impulses. But I still feel lost and alone. I just don’t know what to do… He said he doesn’t want to deal with me going to college (only 45 mins from him and I’d see him every weekend). For me, he was enough. I would have gone through anything for him. I just feel like I am not good enough for anything. I’m not worth it.
4 comments
There are a lot more guys, and you shouldn’t get hung up on this one. You are valuable, and you have to find worth outside of just a relationship.
The lottery of life sometimes isn’t any fun.
Hey when you get to college, there are tons of horny guys, and just because ther’re horny doesn’t mean they aren’t or couldn’t be boyfriend material.
You don’t even necessarily need a relationship right now. But if you must get into another one then go for the guys in the library or the medical schools not the bars. If someone isn’t willing to try to make something work for 45 miles he isn’t worth you.
It gets easier. I don’t really have much advice to give. A girl absolutely destroyed me, and I clit my wrists and laid in the bathtub. My mom found me and I stayed a week in the hospital. I can’t tell you how I got better, I guess without seeing her I lost the attachment. I changed as a person, and I don’t miss her anymore. It gets better, just take it one day at a time.