Well… I tried it

November 9th, 2011by katpandas

My boyfriend of over a year, my one source of true stability, called it off. I feel lost…. If home is where the heart is, then where do I go from here?

This happened Friday night. Saturday, started cutting then  tried to OD. I don’t even know if it was to die or just impulse… I was hospitalized, and I don’t recommend getting hospitalized for an overdose of antidepressants. They poke you and stick you to an EKG five times and don’t let you sleep when that is all you want to do.

I think I am a little more OK now. I don’t want to cut at the moment nor am getting any dangerous impulses. But I still feel lost and alone. I just don’t know what to do… He said he doesn’t want to deal with me going to college (only 45 mins from him and I’d see him every weekend). For me, he was enough. I would have gone through anything for him. I just feel like I am not good enough for anything. I’m not worth it.

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