Why choose to forfeit our lives?

  November 25th, 2011 by cj

Recently, I was drawn to search many times online, and speaking with God as a way to understand myself, and as a way to seek forgiveness and repentance for what I’ve done. I think most of us at any point in life do consider suicide as a way out. It seems straightforward, and quick. It also avoids us to confront our issues, our families, our friends, and many other thoughts that shape our existence.

Days and nights feel long. Darkness surrounds us squashing any sense of hope. I feel that. The worse is the shame, despair and anguish. The uncertainty of what another day brings to us. I am there. I feel it every day. Will today be my judgement day? Is society going to ostracize me today?.

I also think of forgiveness, and repentance. Try to make things right. Even if I try to do so, what then? I can only show my willingness to be strong and follow the goodness in us. I was weak, and let myself run astray. There’s no a day that goes by that I don’t feel regret.

I do know what some of us here, perhaps didn’t do harm, but harm was inflicted on us. I read their stories. I think of the suffering I may have caused and I understand that such harm is not justified. However, don’t let the harm others have done to you destroy your life no matter how bad it is. More importantly. do not be vengeful or act in revenge to those that hurt us. Hate is not solved by hate.

 

 

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