I know I am depressed. I know I need help. I have felt that I am lower than EVERYONE else since a very young age. Around nine or ten. I am now eighteen. I just can’t keep my life together. I feel like shit every day and it is getting to be too much stress. I was just spending my evening with a nineteen year old guy who lives on my floor. He invited me over to watch a movie and get drunk. I really just want a friend. I said sure and went. He claims he had no intentions…other than getting to know me, he enjoys my company, whatever. He kept encouraging me to drink more…. I am about 105 pounds, and 5’1. He is of course larger. I drank, and drank. I got a buzz. I shared more than usual. FUCKKKKKK. I have NO BOUNDARIES. WITH ANYONE. When will I be able to say what I want, do what I want, feel comfortable? I feel like fucking shit. I have never stood up for myself. I have never had a genuine friend who cared about my welfare. I am still not all there as I write this. I just want people in my life who love and care abourt me.
1 comment
It starts with you caring about YOU! You were never taught this, and it isn’t your fault so don’t beat yourself up about it. You need to make a decision to be a friend to yourself. The work is always on the inside…life is an internal experience based on external stimuli.
So here ya got a guy who’s replied to your post who cared enough to share the truth with you about you. Instead of focusing on how no one cares and how you’re not loved….practice loving and appreciating yourself unconditionally. Nothing is more important than, that you feel good! If you want some coaching, skype me… my id is softoul9 Lots of people come on here and complain but how willing are we to use the same energy and direct towards feeling better, towards a solution that helps us along…up to you. Take care, you sound like a great gal. Look after yourself, you’re precious. If your parents never told you that, let me be the 1st. You just are…and I don’t need a reason, nor do you need a reason to believe that…just believe it. Cheers!