me……

im 14 years old i just had my heart broken with a guy that abused me and even tho he did i still miss him and i feel heartbroken caus now he has a gf and it was one of my old friends i thought i had people there for me but i guess not all my girls left me caus he never let me go hangout with them i always had to be with him and him only i wasnt allowed talking to other guys and he break up my best guy friend i know i should hate him but i dont……i have scars on my arm and leg from this kind of stuff i cant deal with things when they hurt me its to hard to open up too ive never been good for that i never could open up and be myself no one really knows about me everything one thinks im a whore i hear it all the time people jsut cant stop saying shit can they? i hit my sister for running her mouth she got a cut above her eye from me im so ready to beat the next person to say shit about me ive had enough i cant take it anymore 🙁 i want it all to end