It’s been 17 years now since I’ve been diagnosed with depression. The disease itself came very early during my terrible childhood. Parents were very critical, perfectionists, I was never good enough. They didn’t care of me – my therapist says I’ve been hardly mentally abused.
I think about suicide more and more…. every day now. My shrink said that she couldn’t help me anymore except putting me on antipsychotics or mood stabilizers and still taking 3 antidepressants as now. I’ve got an experience with almost all AP and AD new or old as it last 7 years until the doctor found a combination which seemed to help a little. And I know that if I’m on AP I’ll get fat, sleepy, hungry and that’s all. Not really the life I want to live.
Dignitas clinic in Switzerland denied my request for assisted suicide stating that it’s not possible according to Swiss law. My only hope is The Netherlands – AS for mentally ill people is possible under certain circumstances.
2 days ago I was made redundant at work, easily said I was sacked.
I think I don’t belong to this world meaning that people like me have low chance to live a dignified life. I’ve tried everything what was available to help myself and now it’s all I can do.
Assisted suicide seems to be a heaven to me.
No idea if I am asking for help here but it makes me less anxious when I can share my thoughts with people who understand.
3 comments
I made a post about this very thing a few pages back.
That assisted suicide should be available for more than just terminally ill people.
The fear is that some people may try to convince people to sign up for it against their wises so to speak/
Or that so many people would voluntarily go that the world would have to seriously question the quality of life.
Look how much they fought the range of sexuality. A lot of people still have hate against non heterosexuals.
A few associates and I are in the process of trying to lobby for or actually open assisted suicide clinics with all bases covered to protect against legal issues. We are all planning our own deaths between now and the next year and it would be easier if we could just go somewhere and be put to sleep instead of having to find our own methods.
I doubt it will come to pass here in the U.S. anytime soon without a paradigm shift in the views of people on life.
If we get something solid like a website or something before my demise I’ll post it here.
Not saying you should kill yourself because death is the end to all possibilities. But just being understanding because I myself have plan in place.
Thanks for posting this U.N. Owen. Could you give me a link to the post about that?
I’m an EU citizen, don’t know if they would help me in US. But it’s definitely good work to do! May help all people in need all around the world. Thanks for your effort, it’s great that you still find enough energy to lobby!
Why do you plan your own death?
I didn’t realize it could get even worse but it actually did. I feel so damn lonely, when I get in touch with someone they hurt me hard. No more Xanax to get over those pains till next morning. People show me I am not good enough for them, my own family did it whole my life and now they throw trash on me. Literally thanked my ex boyfriend that he had dated with me for 8 years because they knew it was hard to date me. Being called inconsiderate when my own mother attacked me and my ex bf verbally. Fine, and now I need help :'( Can’t even say it to my shrink cause if I did I’d end up in a closed ward in mental hospital. Please help me… I’d like to talk to someone who understands my email Ravacholette@email.cz