Ok, so next week, I have two major exams. And I’m terrified. Sitting in the same place for at least an hour and a half with so many people surrounding and staring at me, OCD has just made it worse, what with fullstop routines and my fear of writing in pen, which I have to do for the exams. I obviously don’t want to fail but my mind is telling me that I will.
I know that I wont be able to use a pen.
I have also developed a major fear of death, which is weird for a suicidal person… I basically think about it all the time, I lay awake in bed at night and think about my life, then I don’t want to go to sleep because I’m scared I will die.
Everybody’s going to at some point, I’m just scared to.
I feel like no one can help me, and I don’t know how I will manage next week, I don’t think it’s going to be good.
Just the thought of sitting the exam is scaring me…. :/
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16 comments
Hey there Nat!
I to have OCD, some major issues with it, and I find when i must write with so many people, i choose the very front, seats, front corner if possible. I am pretty much similar with the laying awake late into the night thinking about life, but i am not scared to die, i normally wish that i can just die while i am asleep. Fight through it, you can do it, just study A LOT so you don’t have to much time to think between answering questions. I fear writing in anything BUT pencil but i have been lucky that my exams all can be done in pencil. Good luck, i know you can do it! Definitely keep sharing, use this site to lean on, it’s a great coping mechanism.
Aw thanks, Im slightly different, I would prefer to sit at the back where less people could see me and unfortunately I have to write in pen, I really don’t think I can do this :/ <3
Hi Nat,
Can i suggest talk to the school teachers/counsellors? Surely they will understand ur issues especially if u get a doc’s certificate re OCD….?
I wish you well but just try relax too …. one exame doesnt make ur entire life ….
I have tried that, and as it was a mock exam some acceptions were made but now it’s the actual thing there isn’t much that they can do, and it’s a bit late to go see a doctor right? The first exam is on Tuesday…. Xx.
if u havent studied for the exam …well i say dont worry too much ….. BUT …………if you have …. then understand u will do okay and a silly pen wont matter …its just a writing tool …. no biggie ….i think u can do it 🙂
It is just a pen, but it’s so permanent. A pencil isnt…. I just really don’t like or want to write in a pen, especially as I’m kinda being made to 🙁 xx.
Haha, i know this is maybe a little stupid, but hey sometimes a simple thing is the answer. Erasable pens? I have like 5 in my room just in case. I’m sure you could find some at staples or something! Ah ya the back i tried that once i freaked out almost, couldn’t hardly concentrate, i just like seeing my paper, the wall and the clock, hate others! =P
I would love for an erasable pen to work but unfortunately they don’t, it’s all pens. This fear has taken over my education, which sucks. I unfortunately don’t get a choice where I sit, it’s in alphabetical order from your class. :/ xx
want an answer? use a pen and liquid paper? that might work?
and try remember Nat, your answer doesnt have to be perfect …. it doesnt….its just has to be the best answer YOU can come up with ..so relax a bit too …its perfectly okay to not have the perfect answer….
1) Take ur time
2) Think about what you want to say & answer
3) If not sure, come back to it later and do the easy stuff first
4) Learn to relax and go slowly thru ur answers …..just relax a bit …dont rush ….and it doesnt have to be the perfect answer…..
5) If u cant liquid paper, maybe u can cross out any answers u dont like?
Stay positive 🙂
I really appriciate your words of wisdom but Im not sure if I can do it, all pens are impossible. I just don’t want to be sitting there for two and a half hours without being able to write anything, this will also make me over think everything, like people are staring at me because I’m insane….x .
Most people will be focused on their own exam.
I know, but my insane mind will tell me otherwise,Sometimes I think that people are always staring at me…….
do you believe in heaven? first step is to let go of fantastical rubbish. if theres nothing after all this then that devalues all this to the point that, with enough practice, you can rationlize away your episodes of anxiety. everybody is going to die and not exist ever again so how important are exams really? how important is your 80 year lifespan(if youre “lucky”) when compared to the infinity of the universe? works for me. do what you want to do because you want to do it. you are taking the exam for a reason, to achieve some sort of diploma eventually. if you cant use a pen then you need to rethink what youre doing with your life and consider alternative therapy.i dont condone meds
@tphg : wise words… looking at the Bigger Picture of things.
School and teachers put some much pressure on everyone, it’s ridiculous. I don’t Know what I think will happen when we die, someone I know thinks it will be like before we were born… And at the moment I’m scared that my dad is going to die before me, I know that this will probably be the case. He also keeps talking about death which makes it worse….. :/
I don’t know, maybe no one can actually help me, I’m just a crazy kid….
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