My story starts about 5 months ago when I left a really good job that I done for over 5 years and the pay was great. My wife and dad said not to leave the job, i have two kids.Â
I left this job because I had arranged to drive a taxi that my f@@@ing brother in law said that the pay was good and hours were reasonable because he was doing it (he lied so I can be like him), thinking more money and good hours might as well go for it. Resigned from my good job and my colleagues told me to take a career leave but no I did not listen and resigned.Â
Tried the taxi and the hours are crap money is shit and gave up. Now I am unemployed and feel I deserve what ever comes to me for leaving a good job. I have been totally depressed for several months and can’t stop thinking about my old job how good it was. I looked at methods of suicide and found one that I may attempt if all else fails. I will however ruin my kids, wife and parents lives if I die. I am so sad every day.
7 comments
perhaps you made a mistake, but even if you did, you don’t deserve a death sentence for having done so. if you found one job you loved and did well, there is at least a chance you can eventually find another. u r in my prayers.
(I lack experience in the world of work, so I apologise if this is completely unhelpful.)
It’s often thought a good thing to ‘hold on to the good things in life’, but is there any chance that thinking about your old job may be bringing you down further? I realise it’s not exactly easy or simple to just forget about the past, but any distractions you could try out? Can you ask your family to help or anything?
And to your last sentence: what makes you happy?
My wife says forget about the old job and look to the future, but I have already applied for other job but keep getting rejected, I feel like I have let my 5 year old son and a new born daughter down I am a terriable dad for letting a good job go. I told my parents that I have taken 2 year career leave from my old job and they keep telling my wife why is he depressed when he can go back to his old job. I can never tell them as my dad would say told you not to leave a good job.
I was out of the house today, felt like a zombie. The only restbite I get from being depressed is when I am asleep, so I try to take long naps during the day.
I look out of the window and see other people going to work and wish it was me in their postion
Look towards the future, there are always other job opportunities, go out and put in some applications. Especially since you were at your old job for so long other companies will like that because it means you can dedicate yourself to their company. Thinking about the past will only hold you back and you have a family that you get the opportunity to spend time with, appreciate the things and opportunities you have. Give your family all the love you have, dont end it.
Please don’t do this. You will survive this and things will get better if you ask for help. You will regret everything if you kill yourself. You won’t escape your pain. It will continue because you will still exist, just not in your body. And you’ll never be able to take it back.
I know. 2 1/2 years ago my husband of 22 years shot and killed himself in front of me. We had two boys, 6 & 8 years old. You are right when you say you will ruin their lives. You don’t just make someone sad and full of grief. You totally wreck their lives forever.
I found this website because I am still looking for answers. My kids cry all the time because they want their daddy to play with them, talk to, and live their lives with. No matter what I do, I can’t make it right for them.
If you reach out and are not helped, keep asking. Eventually, you will connect with the right help. You are not in your rational mind when you want to kill yourself. Think of all the times your family will need you. Holidays, graduations, birthdays, etc. You will be missing and they will not be better off without you. You will ruin their lives.
It is normal to want to feel good. Tell someone you trust right away how you feel. Don’t give up on yourself.
Thank you for the last comment, I think I will keep on trying for now but if nothing works out it is my last option. I just found the same job position that i left 5 months ago advertised again so I might apply again and see what happends, I know I will have to start from the bottom again but don’t care as long as I get a job again I think my life might be better. Leaving a job meant I did not have a routine of going to work and coming home again. I have learn a lot of things about my self throughout those 5 months out of work.
I hope and pray that everything goes right for me.
I feel like my life is getting worse as the days go on can’t take this anymore. I am going mad.