A response to comments

Comment responses:

adventuregirl – I am suicidal.  I’ve already attempted before, with 96 sleeping pills.  Unless something changes soon, another attempt (probably successful) is imminent.  I’m 19 by the way.  Me and her were not in romantic relationship, although I did want one with her.  But I was okay just having her as a best friend.  I left the story off at January 3rd, 2011….as you can see I still have all of 2011 and some of 2012 to explain.  So everyone is missing a lot of information, and it’s no one’s fault but my own for not typing it up yet.  The fact that I’ll never be able to have a loving relationship with anyone is not what’s bothering me.  It’s more specific than that, it’s this girl.  I want to be with her and no one else.

farmerstrong – There’s still a lot of the story missing.  I say that in regards to you saying that friends of yours that are girls go and mess up a lot of other guys live’s.  In regards to Jackie, it’s extremely complicated and I can’t say for certain what her true intentions were.

lifeishorrible – I’d be putting myself at risk of jailtime if I go to new york and go visit her area.  The crime is called Interstate stalking I believe.  Going to see her is extremely dangerous, because I consider jail time a punishment worse than death.

jacklebott – Not expected, but appreciated nonetheless.  Thank you.  As you can see from what I wrote to lifeishorrible, you are correct to think that it would complicate things.  I’d at best be in a legal gray area, and at worst I’d be convicted and put in jail.

thousandcuts – You give me the impression that simply because someone has the title of boyfriend or girlfriend, that they are automatically at the top of said person’s priorities.  I was friends with her for far longer, and me and her have been through far more stuff than she and Mikey have.  She wasn’t supposed to hook up with mikey at all, and she promised me that.  She broke her promise by doing it anyways.  Which is why she was apologizing. And you’re probably right to assume that her boyfriend played a significant role in convincing her to stop talking to me.  It’s the same conclusion I’ve arrived at.  Because she was at his house February 20th of this year when I last video chatted with her.  I assume after we got off the video chat and I went back to work, she probably told Mikey everything and he probably gave her some motivational talk about why it was best to leave me.  I also wanted to ask a question based off of this statement you made “Imagine how she felt, obviously she has feelings for her boyfriend and then she had to worry that she’d be making you upset for spending time with him, it probably made her feel terrible.”, are you talking about hooking up with her boyfriend?  Or simply the act of spending time with her boyfriend?  If you’re talking about hooking up, tell me which is worse.  Not being able to hook up with your partner.  Or, having to hear how your best friend (who you romantically love) hooked up with their partner.  For most people, not being able to hook up with their partner is at most an annoyance, it’s hardly a traumatic experience.  The second situation on the other hand, has caused emotional trauma to people since the beginning of time.  So me asking Jackie to not hook up with her boyfriend, I personally consider it reasonable given the amount of pain it would have caused me.

One day – Police cannot issue restraining orders.  They can attempt to intimidate you and accomplish the same goals, but only to people who have no clue what their rights are and what police can and cannot do and I am not one of those people.  Only a court can issue a restraining order.  I find it impressive that you got numbers 2 and 3 correct, without even hearing the rest of the story.  As for number 4, she said the same thing to me, that I am unpredictable and act on impulse.  As for number 5, I think you’re twisting it too much.  You say that she called a “man with a gun”, but by saying that you imply that she was genuinely terrified that I was either going to harm or kill her, and that she needed a man with a gun such as the police for protection, that’s just not true, she knows I would never hurt her.  She’s known me for nearly 3 and a half years.

Be the nice guy and treat women with respect?  Are you saying I don’t do that?  I thought I was extremely nice to pretty much everyone, I treat everyone with respect.  I’m not a psychopath.  My ultimate goal is not to attempt to gain control over a girl.  I’d rather relinquish control and trust her.

I just wish Jackie would come back and talk to me, I miss her.  I have probably 1 week left.