at the crossroads

i’m currently 18 years old (male), have a good circle of friends, supportive family, and have never really had any common struggles such as abuse or neglect. The thing is, i’m totally fucked inside. I’m a shell. I’ve always been told i’m attractive and i believe them partly. The thing is, i have a huge and weird shaped head. picture an upside down triangle. I used to have shorter hair when i was younger and i thought nothing of it. i used to get the odd comment like ‘you have a big head’ but it never used to bother me. i then realised that a longer hairstyle would be more suitable. since then i have always had longish hair, but i’m sick of it. and to make matters worse my hair is starting to recede, which has stopped me from being able to do my hair like i used to. This may sound like some irrational or self absorbed rant, and i exhibit all the signs of body dysmorphic disorder, but i’ve been told i have a big head and i KNOW i do, that is the difference between me and someone who just perceives a body part to be. I’m now at the crossroads, get short hair and let people realise that wow, he isn’t attractive after all. continue being a fake with my long hair, or end it for good. The hardest part is knowing that i will never be able to have a ‘cool’ hairstyle like everyone else. I’ll never be able to be comfortable with myself and how i look. It breaks my heart when i look at my younger sister. We look almost identical except she has a normal head. I’ve watched her blossom into a beautiful young woman who is not insecure in the slightest. Her friends come over often and tell her that they think im attractive, but i cant put on this act forever, people wonder why im quiet and shy. It’s all because of my ugly fucking head. I would love to be able to just shave my head and see a normal head. I really don’t know what to do anymore.