Please talk to me after you read…..I need…idk..
Tonight is the night
Through my hate and demise.
I sit, waiting in fright.
In darkness blinded by my own surprise.
Weeping for hours.
And screaming in tears.
Walking through towers and showers ,
Through my own bloody tears.
What is the sound I hear in my mind.
Ofcourse it’s the sound I know all to well…laughing and jeers
To some,it would be of some wicked crime
I grabbed my military issued knife and tied a gag
As I slowly but surely cut my wrists
Watching slowly as the blood drips in a bag..
Wishing more hate apon my soul in anger I clinch my fist
I say to myself tonight shall soon end
As I write on a paper to my closest peers.
I say to them I did not die in some suicidal trend
But dare I say tonight is the night that shall end In my own bloody tears
9 comments
If you don’t mind the question, may I ask what’s happening in your world? You mentioned a military-issued knife. Are/were you in the military? I was. If you need to talk, I’ll listen.
I was left……for a lighter spoken of words being left….people always taking me for granted being expandable. Unwanted. Despised…and more or less I’m just fed up with petending I’m in a good mood. It should not be that it’s easier to fake a good mood than be in one for one god damn moment in my fucked world…one day one moment one fucking hour to be happy isn’t to much to ask for. But no. Appearently I’m wrong and being over dramatic! That’s all I ever hear. From day one, I’ve been antagonized and be not by military either.
It is difficult to be something you’re not… and pretending to be happy all the time takes a toll on you after a while. Of course you deserve to be happy. There are some people who will take advantage of others. Sooner or later, karma will swing around and fix that. I don’t think you’re being overly dramatic. You’re entitled to some happy moments. I’m not sure about someone who would consider you to be wrong for thinking that.
I wish…it’s been an epidemic my entire life. One thing after the other. I never get a moment….and the love of my life just told me to stop saying I love you for a while cause she’s losing feelings….losing everything…and thinking about the easy way out….seems to be the only way out.
I understand the “something is always happening” situation. After a lot of that, it can get overwhelming. How long have you two been a couple? Are there things you can talk out? The easy way out might not be the best way out. If you can think about the relationship, think about what came between you, and work on it… That seems like a good scenario.
3yrs…I just…lost my will to go on…she has always been my will…she prevented me from dying cause I hung myself. She threw my knife away cause I cut deep. She took my glok cause I pointed it in my mouth and she walked in….now…I don’t have the same chains I once did..
If you can find the strength within you right now, you’re showing her strength as well. I dont know what the specifics are… Finding internal strength may allow you to assess and fix the specifics. A relationship of three years has a foundation to it. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to take some time to reflect and then work on it.
…. If only that would work..
I don’t think your bring dramatic its how your feeling but I do believe that harming yourself isn’t the answer to your feelings remember a thought can be changed it sounds like your being to harsh on yourself and maybe your partner is scared of it all and doesn’t want to see you like this what’s actually making you feel this way?