Burning A Rope,
I Don’t Need Proof, I Already Know,
What You Did To Me Was A Crime
Cold Case Love
And I let You Reach Me One More Time,
But Thats Enough
The funniest part about this post is that I actually had changed my mind. Listen up ppl. i am the perfect example there is no hope. Last week i was going to post and tell everyone that things might have changed, i might have been given that little bit of peace. Something good happened last week that at the time didn’t feel like that Utopian feeling Ive been talking about for a while. And it lasted for more than just 1 day-more than a few days actually. However monday night that all came crashing down again and what seemed like reality ended being a hazy truth. A cover up, like God thought I would do something last week so he did that to stop me, but he doesnt understand that im still going to do it especially now more than ever because after i believed again, after i gave it a chance-this happened. It was just an experiment. You give me life and energy and then not only do you take it away, you burn me with it. Rub it in my face. My neck is still burning. We can both say we lost it in the heat of the moment; in my opinion, actions can easily be forgotten, its the words that burn. That when you look that person in the face and say “no king, i dont even remember what was said”, deep inside you clinch and hold onto your gut just to get the strength to keep up the front. My face is still burning, everyone tells me wow you look pissed right now. You did this. Within a flash of a moment you took away every ounce of happiness i every could possibly possess. It funny how this all happened today, March 7th, the day i wanted to be my official d-day. i woke up with second thoughts. why is it every time we get second thoughts something pops up to remind us to kill them thoughts?
I hold on and hold on even though everything else has fallen apart because your still together. But i cant do this any more. Its not that I dont want to, its that I just cant. i cant hope anymore.
Im so weak now. i type so fast getting all my frustrations out but now I just feel super weak. Im only doing this last errand for you so you dont believe what i bbm’n u in the heat of the moment. i shouldnt have exposed myself to you like that. I wish that bus hit me when it went into the street. Why did you grab me? and that wouldnt have even been suicide that would have been a mistake by the bus driver lol. You always save me but its not for me, its for your own personal selfish greedy reasons. i wouldnt be this unhappy, i wouldnt be this alone, I wouldnt be this messed up, if you never made that call. You always said our love was so passionate-I always said it was dangerous. you said you’ll be ok without me and thats because i trained you so you dont need no one for nothing. i made these hoes jobs easy for them. I just want to keep typing and typing but i gota go get ready, but on the face, fix myself up and go do this last thing for you. You kept me alive so you wouldnt feel bad. You said i should worry when you stop fighting, when you stop talking, no my baba, my king, my heart. Its you who should worry when i go silent.
Release Me Now, Because I Did My Time Of This Cold Case Love.
2 comments
so today is d day for you or what ?
Normandy?
You are a modern, independent women and should not feel compromised. Sometimes it is difficult when each day is a the same as the last, unrelenting. When a certain way of living is all you have known it is difficult to break away from that mental process. But you should not feel confined to the desolation of your surroundings and embark on a journey of discovery and wonderment.