Im so tired of this shit. completely exhausted. its a fucking saturday night and everyones ditched me.only because i cant drink or smoke pot. you know what, this worlds better off with out me, not like anyone would show up to my funeral. i lost the one person who actually cared and hes not coming back so whats the fucking point anymore. i feel like a useless pawn that should have died years ago. please god if you exsist, just make this shit go away…..for the love of your one and only son please. cant take it anymore im tired of being alone tired of feeling like a freak tired of wearing plastic smiles.
…….never wanted to go out like this
4 comments
I’ve prayed to God many times for him to end my suffering…. I’ve pleaded my case that my time here is done… and that I’m down so much I couldn’t possibly be an asset. Yet I’m still here. I’m trying to figure out the next step. Speaking from my own reflections, I can tell you that you’re not the useless pawn you think… and the stuff you want to go away could go away. You’ll have to be strong for it to happen. If you give up, the chances dwindle. I know all about fake smiles, plastic smiles, manufactured smiles, etc… Perhaps one day, I’ll have a real smile.
yeah me too i just want this pain to go away its not the emotional anymore but the physical that i just cant get rid of. but my anxietys got me so tightly bound. just once….just once i wanna be relieved let go of the pressure just stop thinking the worst and move on to the best. this was never what i wanted for myself yet here i am standing in front of a brick wall with no where to go i feel like a trapped animal. i know i have to be strong just how long? how long will i suffer for? is this just me being emotional i really think not. i hate when people say im over dramatic cause i know for a fact if my circumstances were different i wouldnt be like this ….ughh i hate life
hey i know how you guys feel life seems like an unclimable mointain all the time. i live in severe chronic pain and serious anxiety blah blah i am a recovering heroin addict for three years now and life still pretty much sucks. I just found this site and im so glad i did bc now i will have ppl like you who get it and maybe i wont lose it one day and fall over the edge
hey thanks for the comment yeah i have severe anxiety as well which is why i cant do the things a normal 21 yr old would be doing like going out on a saturday night letting loose. i feel like i ruin a good time cuz im constantly worried about my heart. and you must be strong to do something like that …. recovery isnt always easy, im a cutter and i stopped only to go back again i feel utterly dissapointed in myself. and a failure to everyone. but yeah this site makes me see that theres others with the same problem hence why i write here. i finally feel like someone other then myself gets what im going through with out making me feel like im crazy