I’ve had enough. I want to do it, sooner rather than later. I woke up today and started crying at the thought of school and OCD and life, I kinda get the feeling that I won’t be waiting for my ‘date’.
What i don’t really understand is that when you tell someone you’re suicidal, they nearly always say ‘Don’t do it, I don’t want you to’ To some people this doesn’t matter because we are so far along in our state of depression that it goes in one ear and out the other, We don’t understand what we are doing to people. It’s like some form of autism… But we just don’t really care.
well… That was intelligent?
I don’t know anymore, I really don’t know.
<3.
9 comments
Makes complete sense to me,
As if you are cutoff from people, from everything.
You can almost hear their muffled words but they don’t mean anything.
You can’t reach out and they can’t reach in.
The more you think of suicide, the worse it gets.
It’s like being lost in a thick dark fog, you try to push it aside but it’s too heavy.
It happens to most depressed, suicidal people.
We call it the Black Velvet Curtain.
Peace
I can’t tell you to not do it. You must make the choice. I think the reason why that people tell the depressed not to kill themselves is not always because they love the person… it’s because of the fear. The fear that there is nothing beyond death. Why end your life if there is no form of living if you give up?
So… I don’t know. All I can say is that I understand and that you should look for someone to talk to if you feel as if life isn’t worth living.
I understand you…most of the time when you’re suicidal you just want somebody to talk to, to be there with you and accept that you want to hurt yourself. you know “why” you shouldn’t do it, you just want someone who loves you even though you can’t see around it.
i don’t know why i shouldn’t do it anymore, honestlly. no one can give me an answer either. why is existance in constant agony preferable to nothingness? and i find it absurd that people who believe they care about me want me to keep suffering..just cause they’ve been born with this irrational trust toward the world and their future…they can’t imagine how it is to live without it. they wouldn’t want to, either.
I agree with all of you… Nothing makes sense anymore… I hope you all find the peace you have been searching for… <3.
Well I’m going to crash the party here.
I’ve felt like that MANY of times lately, thinking “Okay, screw this date I’m going now!” but obviously I didn’t. I’ve had okay times since then, and sometimes I realize my mind blows things out of proportion making me feeling worse – then I get past something and notice it wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined. Anywho, just don’t want you having a bad day and doing it… :/ I do know how you feel though…
I think that is selfish when people say that… and I think you’re right sometimes we just don’t care. I don’t think that’s the wrong question people should ask, it should be less about them and more about you. How they can better understand, if they can support you, etc.
Indeed, intelligent.
Heh, know what you mean. Forever confused and lost…
I don’t mean to tell you what’s wrong and right, etc etc. I just don’t want to see you going in such a way – I want you to say you have NO doubt and are COMPLETELY sure. Don’t want the world losin’ someone like you, and I’m sorry if that’s selfish.
Losing someone like me? There’s not much to lose, and i totally understand everything you told me. Thank you.
Yes there is something to lose, I think you’re just undervaluing yourself. Heh, well glad I made sense to you, doesn’t happen too often. Mhm, well thank you for sticking around longer.
My ‘date’ isn’t for a while…