I made a fool of myself again. I belived someone who said they cared. That I understood him and was so nice. Then I was told that a relationship would nevet be in the cards. I’ve heard the same crap so many times, it’s sad. I must be an awesome friend because everyone of my ex’s wants to stay my friend. I’m hurting so bad. Each time this happens, I feel as if a little piece of me is torn away. I have chronic depression which means even at the best of times, I’m not in the greatest shape. I want to give in and sleep all day. Cry. But I have a sister who looks up to me and needs me. She means more to me than anything. I’m hurting so bad, but I don’t know what to do. I have to keep going, but I just want to collaspe.
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3 comments
I’m starting to think its not worth believing anyone. I can’t even hang on to my friends.
I stopped having friends long ago.
Because it sucked never being able to really tell them anything.
I listened to what they said but who wants to hear someone cynical all the time.
Friends, lovers, most are the same in the sense that they see the difference in us after a while (a while being 5 minutes to 5 years). Froggy…. Think of most of us are a large strong piece of steel and those whom establish relationships with us are sandstone grinding wheels.
Our common bonds of depression, bi-poar disorder (me), and all types of psychiactric illness (which are all genetic by the way) begins to wear away at those around us.
They don’t understand us. they can’t. They dont feel like we do.
So when the wheel starts spinning the stone wears away quickly…then bam the wheel breaks and they cut lose.
This doesnt mean we are bad people, BUT we are diffferent. In all things and all relationships: friends, loved ones, spouses, soulmates, and family they will always struggle to understand you. Someday you will meet someone that has a wheel made of steel. Then things will get better. When, where, how, and why. It will come.
Just wait. focus on your Sister. She needs you.