I just don’t know what to do with myself now. I’ve pretty much completed the biggest part of my bucket list (somewhere I traveled) and now I can’t seem to motivate myself at all. I know what I would want to do in the future, but now it feels like whether I make it to that point or not doesn’t matter at all. I have a wonderful life filled with supportive and kind people who tell me daily how much potential I have, but I have nothing to show for it. Guilt and a vague but almost desperate feeling of “there’s surely something left for you […]
Tag:
Chronic Depression
Last Thursday during a period of mania I quit a job of 6 months. Went to the beach and put my ‘hood’ on. As I prepared the tank it occurred to me that I hadn’t removed personal effects from my friends house where I landed in June after leaving the hotel. Didn’t want to burden anyone having to root through my stuff.
Called a crisis line a few hours later ending up volunteering to admit myself for this crisis.
Now several days later, really kick myself for not going through with it. I was in the right frame of mind and more so a valid reason to […]
I have dealt with chronic depression and severe anxiety for years. I also have two neurological conditions, fibromyalgia and narcolepsy which give me horrible pain when I’m awake and horrible nightmares when I’m asleep. I feel very alone and there’s a voice in my head who says that it’s not worth it. I have pain pills in my bathroom and I know a handful of them would make all the problems go away, but I don’t take them. My mom lost two out of seven kids plus her husband and I don’t think she would take me dying well. I am not living for me […]
My life just took an 180º turn.. for worst.
So I had my appointment with the psychologist today. Needless to say that two minutes in and he was already giving me paper tissues. I was crying my heart out. I told him pretty much everything. Concentration problems, trouble sleeping, depression, lack of memories, suicidal thoughts (I explained I wouldn’t do it because of my mom tho). And according to him, I should had seeked help a long time ago, as now I am so deep into depression.
Result from appointment: Tomorrow I have another appointment with the psychiatrist so I can start right away taking antidepressives and […]
A couple of days ago I believed today would be the day to get this done, finally, once and for all, no more hand-wringing, no more excuses. I was prepared to deal with the dreaded pain I knew it would take to do the deed. But wouldn’t you know it, the time frame when my will was the strongest my plans were thwarted because I didn’t get to be alone like I needed to be to carry out my plan. Of late it is almost comical how bad my luck has been!!!!!!!!!! Obviously I know I just have to bide my time and wait for […]
This is my first time on the website, so I hope I don’t break any rules or something.
My story is pretty standard: a strict family, crippingly high expectations, and an inability to ever deliver what they wanted culminated in chronic depression and very bad self esteem. I once brought home a B+ for a 7th grade science class. My parents screamed at me and insulted me until I was literally on my knees, sobbing, begging them to stop.
In high school I was absolutely miserable. Because I was shy and socially awkward, I was unpopular, completely ignored. I did well in my classes, but of course not nearly well enough to please my parents. Nobody talked to […]
I made a fool of myself again. I belived someone who said they cared. That I understood him and was so nice. Then I was told that a relationship would nevet be in the cards. I’ve heard the same crap so many times, it’s sad. I must be an awesome friend because everyone of my ex’s wants to stay my friend. I’m hurting so bad. Each time this happens, I feel as if a little piece of me is torn away. I have chronic depression which means even at the best of times, I’m not in the greatest shape. I want to give in and […]
I’ve never been abused. Never been neglected. I’ve never failed. I have graet co-workers and a loving family (though quite overbearing @ times).
I was bullies in every grade! Where was the publicity and outcry then???
I cry myself to sleep every night. Who hears me?
I hurt any second I am not actively ingaged in conversation with somebody. Who notices?
Why is suicide a bad thing for chronic depression? It’s not a phase in my life… I’ve been this way since I was 5. I’ve been on meds. I’ve seen a couselor. Why should I suffer every morning knowing I have to face another day. Why? Because people […]
I turned 14 on the 3rd
I have been sexually abused around 4-5 times
I recently found out in an empath and can see/feel spirits
I am bisexual
I have a girlfriend
I have forgiven my sexual abusers
I self diagnosed myself with a chronic social anxiety disorder
I have a needle phobia,its pretty bad
My favorite color is any shade of green except normal green 🙂
I am fairly happy
I survived chronic depression without medication or a therapist
I hate my mother
I love mismatched socks
I dress emo
My favorite band at the moment is Botdf
My girlfriend is cheating on me […]