i feel used by my friends its like they would only call me when they need me… but not once have they ever took the time out of there worlds to ever say whats wrong or to even notice that im in pain inside…. they just think im being just my regular self, but if only they knew what twisted chaos that goes inside my head… i know for a fact they could leave me… everyone leaves me… so y should i bother to stay in the unloved world when im being used by the people who i should trust… if only i had my friend with me… if only i had died with her.. with them… then i wouldnt have to go through this pain… why would someone use me and then discard me when finished?
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i feel like that too, i have to face all my problems on my own and yet i still hang around for others, and it sucks.. but i find other ways around it though, i believe that if i good for others, eventually something special will happen to me. i may suffer now, but soon something amazing will happen and i want to me alive to see it happen, its sounds silly but it keeps me going. everyday im moving closer to it, what is it!? i dunno, but i know from all the good i do, something good is bound to happen to me…. i havent slept in days, havent eaten in 24 hours, i suffer from chronic depression and im an insomniac… i still believe, once that believes dies, then i give up. but i never let that belieft die, no matter what. find that belief, whether it be religion, or a person.. whatever…
i dont think it sounds silly and its kinda hard for me to find that kinda beleif especially in a person…. 🙁
I know it’s hard… I’m going through the same thing, and sometimes i feel like giving up and just not caring about anything… i take my bike and just ride into the night, away from everything, they never turn out good. What i’m trying to say is, belief is hard to find on your own and having someone who understands – maybe someone who goes through the same thing – it’ll be good, and slowly you may start to heal and feel better. All i know is that i’m in a similar position to you and if you want i’ll be more than happy to talk to you about your problems, anything. My email is outerhaven.bb@gmail.com .. if you wish to say anything to me, you are more than welcome, i will listen. i am your friend, though i have not met you, as a philanthropist i believe the goodness within the human connection is the key to healing this world – to me no one is a stranger, i love all humans and even though people may not love me, my love for humanity extends any hatred so i continue to exist in this world, enduring and surviving. Hard yes, but a reward lays in wait, and i want to be around to recieve it. Sometimes, i do stop believing, its hard. the road has lots of hazards.
It’s easier said tan done, but find that belief… like i said before.. you have my email address, email me anything you have on your mind, i’ll listen.. i’m a 17 year old male… hoping forward to hearing from you 🙂
thank you so much… i look forword in talking with you… and im male and 18 lol