Can’t take it anymore

I’m so tired of it all. My mother is putting me under an enormous amount of pressure to get all of this school work done by the end of may, but I know I cannot do it. Even if I stopped talking to internet friends and reading, I would still not get it done in time. With one of my classes, which conveniently, is the hardest one for me, I can do it through the summer. But my mother came into my room last night screaming her head off about me finishing it and that I would not do it over the summer. She is trying to sculpt me into a person I am not, and I can’t take it. Her own mother has told her numerous times that she needs mental help, prescriptions, or something to help her control herself and act like a sane person. I actually believe that now. I used to think her behavior was that of a normal person because I grew up with her, and I was , and am, very isolated from the outside world. I’ve never been to a true public school, and I’ve been homeschooled since the middle of third grade.

It also doesn’t help that my father wants to come see me. If I even saw him I would probably just kill him, right then, and go jump off the bridge. All of this is his fault alone. My misery is because of him. Not to mention everything he has done to others. I don’t know if I can last another day. Nobody will miss me anyways, even my own mother has told me that she wouldn’t. I cannot hold on any longer; I cannot wait six years to be free. I just can’t.

I don’t think I will leave a letter, because they don’t deserve to know the person I really am. They don’t deserve to know exactly why I will do it. Because they wouldn’t understand. No, they never have. They don’t care enough to even try.

I hope everyone will be happier without the burden of my existence. I do not have a purpose anyways, I’m just a wandering soul. I’m lost. And I know there is only one known way to end this…