It’s not at all that I may be having second thoughts, contemplating whether I have made the right choice or not. It’s just although I don’t want to be here now, I feel sad that the old me can not continue living. I guess I just wish that the events leading up to my decision had not have happened. I could continue to live my innocent and naive life, unaware of its dangers and pain. Should I do it tomorrow, why not in a few days? I don’t want to be here anymore, and I am 100% sure of that.
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I know what you mean. Knowing how and where is a comfort, it makes it almost inevitable and being 100% sure is very hard, but I am also starting to feel that too. But until you actually get there, there is still a chance. I hear what you are saying. I wish I could kill my pain and stay and get the old person back. I was a great person, and I am sure you are too.
That is exactly how I feel, thank you for replying.
I chose September. I love that month.
Just had a mini meltdown. Knowing that I have my plan ready is a relief but so hard too because I do not know when. I cannot choose a month, but not the same as my kids birthdays at least.
Its a good feeling having it all planned out i find. I have my helium tank’s and exit bag all good to go, I just have to wait two weeks till i get two days off work to give it a go. I also plan on using med’s and a rope to hang myself when i pass out and slump forward, sort of as a back up/fail safe plan incase the helium doesn’t work. I find it’s best to plan for the worst (a failed attempt) and hope for the best.
Something to think about…there is no right time, or wrong time. It’s part of the whole decision that when you feel good about the whole process, you will find a suitable time for yourselves. You may not be able to perceive the fantastic people you still are and I understand that…I feel the same way, I miss so much of who I was and the je ne sais quoi of what I knew was life for me. Seems anti climactic for me….I learned there is just a time and I realized it’s not associated with an epiphany…of this is it! So I’ve just chosen a date. Good luck, cheers!