Long Sleeved Summer

Its been heating up nicely in Pennsylvania. Had some ugly (obvious self harm) scars on my arm since last November. 5 of them, they made me sick. I was so fucked up (drunk) when I did them it was hazey to remember. I used a steak knife because I didn’t have a razor. Really tore the skin apart. (Saw fatty tissue) the next day I was fucking pissed. I let a fucked up shell of the worst of me scar me. The first month was bad. They wouldn’t heal. I thought I was going to have to stich it up myself with fishing line because theirs no way in fucking hell I was going to get stiched from a doctor and embarrass myself & my family. Plus theirs no way my family would pay for something like that. (You made your bed, you sleep in it) After getting to the point where parts of flesh in the wound looked like decaying flesh (because it was) they eventually closed up… it was December then. I could easily wear long sleeve and hoodies around. Everywhere. During this time I knew I had to get rid of them. I read about Mederma, people said it worked. The bottle cost like 20 bucks but I just said whatever and took one from walmart. It made the skin softer and helped reduce the redness a little but not effective enough. I was using it as often as I could too. I noticed that while using it it peeled the smallest piece of skin off the scar. That’s when the solution hit me! Peeling. Out with the old in with the new! Did some reading found out that dermabrasion was effective for scars. Wasn’t about to go to a dermatologist so I broke out the fucking sand paper! Want to talk about pain? Don’t cut yourself. Sand your scars off. You’ll never cut again To make a long story short its almost June and they are getting less and less noticeable. This was a long process of healing and ripping of the scarred skin. I’m NOT planning to wear long sleeve all summer. No pain, no gain. This is punishment that taught a good lesson though. Never cut yourself unless you want to sand your skin off. Or wear long sleeves all summer making everyone debate on if your a cutter or a heroin addict. Or you can never go outside and have a life again. Needless to say if people see your scars they’ll judge you as weak. Not me though because Id fuck up my friends if I had to. Hahaa, They just know me as an insane fucker who does some extreme things. Needless to say. Don’t do it because I’ve had my share of shit circumstances in life and self harm will NEVER help you.