I am so tired, please can I sleep? I cannot take it anymore.
I search my entire life to find a home, somewhere, someone, to rest in. Why can’t the world let me be happy? Whenever I become happy about something, someone, I feel that everything goes out of its way to take that happiness away. This is why  it takes me a great amount of time to feel happy. But even still, you let it, them, into your arms again only to realize you were making it up the whole time. No matter how much you deserve happiness, nobody wants to give it to you.
Yesterday I think I had a mental break. Surprisingly I am calm today. It’s weird when you think you hit rock bottom. You feel so, defeated.
I’ve gone to fantasizing about putting myself to sleep. It’s almost joyful to think of how all those people – I mean things- Â that hurt me, see what their pain caused. It’s also such a relief to let go of this burden of wake.
Can my life be a movie? Where people come out of the woodwork to help me out of my misery, thereby creating a greater bond and happiness for all?
I think I’ll go back under my desk again and just close my eyes….