Because I feel like I’m okay for only a day at a time.
Because I can’t be happy without feeling guilty.
Because even when I’m seeking help, I don’t feel helped.
Because being in therapy makes me feel like I’m crazy.
Because being told everything is okay, only feels condescending.
Because today I carved the word horrible into my own thigh, and forgot one of the ‘r’s.
Because when I’m told ‘I love you’ I don’t feel it.
Because I stay in a relationship when all I feel is used.
Because what is important to me is not important to anyone else.
Because the simple things are the hardest.
Because I can’t sleep without crying.
Because I can’t breath.
Because I can’t see through all my tears anymore.
Because I am pathetic and that’s all I’ll ever be.