Waking up with that Gut feeling of not wanting to live.. I know that feeling all to well. When I wake up in the morning I wonder what I will go through today…. You know it has been so long since I have actually smiled and meant it.. I am dealing with so much drama.. And it hurts.. I am just so confused on what to do right now.. D:< You have no idea why I wake up in the morning. I honestly have no idea why i wake up in the morning..
I want to sleep forever knowing that there will be nothing to deal with. No drama.. No hurting.. no crying, no abuse, no shit taking, no nothing.. If we all could do that then what would this world be like? I wonder a lot of things but I know i will never be able to experience them because tat if just how screwed up life is.. I wanna be able to understand why things happen the way they happen.
I will never be the same.. I loved this guy… Oh how I loved him… We even ran away together because we couldn’t handle the life we was living. And we were on the run for 4 days.. and we would have made it if he didn’t check his facebook and go to the people who was looking for him.. But he had too.
I love him still to this day but he has “moved on” he filled my head with lies and he left me and he blocked me from all contact I have with him. And Honestly I really miss him I love him and i would do anything to get him back.. But you know I can’t anymore.. I can’t keep living this way because it is slowly killing me inside. I hate breathing.
I wish I could cut my vein and watch the blood drip from it and kill myself so slowly and suffer because that is all i have been doing my whole life so far.. Some one help me.