Fighting the urge

Lately i’ve been having this urge to self-harm again and i honestly don’t know why, i mean it’s not like im depressed or anything i actually believe im quite happy with myself right now. The thing is, everytime i look at my wrists they just look so…empty and alone an idk it’s like i miss the pain,i miss feeling like i was alive again.. I don’t know what im supposed to do, ive gone months without self-harm and i dont know if i would enjoy the fact of relapsing for the fourth time thi year. Idk and its just not cutting anymore now i just wanna burn like feel hot metal against y flesh just because idk evrytime i see a lighter i think of placing it on my wrist and everyome i look at my wrists all empty i imagine them smeered in blood. What the hell is wrong with me???