I just can’t do this anymore! Every single day my urge to kill myself gets stronger, all the pain just keeps building up and I can’t take anymore and I break down. I have nothing and no one. The only person who ever understood me passed away a few weeks ago and all I want is to join him. I have been trying so hard for three years to turn my life around but it’s only gotten worse. Every night I cry myself to sleep because I’m scared, scared to wake up the next day to even more pain and confusion. I’m terrified of myself, I can’t control my emotions anymore and I can tell that I wont be alive much longer. I just want someone to understand! But thats impossable because I dont even understand it. I’m so sorry to anyone who actually cares about me but I can’t do this anymore I can’t stand the pain, this is the only way out. I hate what I’ve done to myself and what I’ve become I just cant keep on going anymore with no will to live. I’m sorry
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Sometimes… Sometimes you have to work for things. You said that the only person who understood you passed away, but have you tried explaining it to anybody else? I’m going to assume that person who passed away was a very close freind, and at the risk of being clichèd, do you really think they would want you to join them so quickly?
Maybe… Maybe you could live a little bit longer, if not for you, then for him. Live for him, let your happiness be his. So that way when you next meet, you can look at him proudly and say: I lived.