So tired of

Wishing. Hoping. Dreaming. Longing. Living. Breathing. Smiling. Laughing. Hurting. Wanting. Crying. Walking. Waking. Anything and everything. I’m so tired. Emotionally, psychically, mentally, any way possible. I don’t know what to do or who to go to, I don’t know what the meaning of living is anymore. I don’t know what the point it. So many people have it worse than me, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It doesn’t fix anything. Everything hurts. I’m torn down, broken, sad, no. More than sad. There’s no words for it. I have absolutely no motivation. I’m so emotionally numb to everyone and everything. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know about anything anymore. Where is my life going? What am I feeling after all? Why am I so hurt and depressed? WHY WHY WHY! No one can hate me as much as I do right now. I’m so mad at myself for getting like this. Getting to the point of not getting out of bed, or eating, or sleeping, or smiling, or doing anything what so ever. I’m better off dead. I shouldn’t be here, being a burden like this.

I’m alone. Completely and utterly. alone.

Nothing is fine and it never will be. No matter how many times I tell myself it is, I know it’s not.
I want to be done. I want this pain to be over. I want to stop dealing with this. I can’t take it.. I just can’t.