What to do next ?

I can’t say i haven’t tried i am currently being treated for depression i self harm unfortunately i don’t blog this kind of thing to the world but now as i write this i’m thinking of where to i go from here and whats my next step in life to be honest im not entirely sure myself doesn’t it seem worth it when i think about it all there is is getting a job marriage , then divorce kids and die anyways . I’m not sure about living a life that means that . i’m thinking of suicide but i cant bare to see my family down but at the same time it’s just not worth it this may indeed be the last place . I heard about this site threw another so i shall give it a go .
Is it all worth it?