I haven’t been on this website much in the last year because I thought I was doing better.
But my father has been talking lately about how I should get engaged.
I am a 19 year old Arab female, and my father wants me to get engaged next summer to a man I do no know so that he can come to America, get settled in, and then marry me when I finish college.
But this is the stupidest bullshit in the history of the universe.
I hate my parents. I was accepted to MIT but my parents wouldn’t let me go because they told me I could not go that far. I am at a top public university but I am always bitter and angry because of all of the opportunities I’ve lost in my life time because my parents are fucking idiots.
I can’t decide if I should just cut myself off from them silently next summer and hide away in a different city while working an internship, or if I should just tell them  that I’m bisexual and I have a lesbian girlfriend who I’ve been fucking and I hate their religion and their culture and the entire Arab community and hope they just kick me out of the house.
…or if I should just kill myself. No matter which of the three I do, the Arab community in my town will still swear that I’m going to hell.
Fuck everything.
5 comments
Change your name and move far away!
It’s not worth living your life under someone elses rule, Life is about being free and making choices for yourself.
There was a story in the uk here not so long ago about a muslim family that found out about their daughter dating english boys. They strangled her and buried her in a woodland miles away from where they lived.
She was murdered because she wanted to live her life the way she wanted.
Surely killing people is seen as a sin in any religion and so the parents commited a sin because they couldn’t deal with the shame of a much lesser sin.
Both sides broke the laws of a religion but it was only the parents that believed in it and it got them a life prison sentence.
Get the fuck away from them a.s.a.p, people who believe in something that they have no possible way of proving is just a waste of life and it’ll waste yours too.
It’s illegal to force kids into getting married now.I’d get some professional to talk to your parents,that it’s not acceptable.If they want to live like that they should stay over in Afghanistan
Please don’t kill yourself. You are too talented , right about your parents, and bright. If the internship gets you away, I say “take it.” Make certain you have a place to live and money for food etc. Perhaps get some counseling about how to handle this best. You’re a bright young woman. Strike out on your own and survive. I waited tables for years. It can be fun in the right restaurant.
I still care what my family thinks and every time I do it messes with my mental health. And I’m American, born in the Midwest. We all crave acceptance from our parents, no matter how much we disagree with them and hate their ideas. But you have so much to offer both yourself and the world.
You can’t change your parents, but you can free yourself, live your own life. When it’s not perfect, please know that no one’s life is perfect. For you to give in would kill your spirit. You have great spirit. Live it. Breathe it. Be it.
Be YOU!! Survive. We need women like you in this world.
Stick it to them and don’t feel ashamed for living your own life.
Ah, good ol middle eastern customs.
Take the first chance you get and run. Ostracize yourself from a culture you’re not comfortable with and can only cause you harm. I’m very familiar with this feeling.
Hang in there, and trust me. Just because you turn down an arranged marriage doesnt buy you a ticket to hell.