Hey there to whoever is reading this… My name is Sammie and well I deal with depression, bi-polar disorder, and a mild case of PTSD. I’ve gone through a lot in my life to make me this way, but I work everyday to get better… I even have this chart on my wall where I write something nice about myself once a day then read them before bed till I smile.
My dad went to Iraq when I was young and when he came back he changed. He was an alcoholic and the daddy I used to have was no longer there. He’s so cruel all the time and he makes me feel so bad about myself. Like I’m not good enough to be here. I attempted suicide a few years ago and my dad said he was ashamed… Nothing changed.
As I got into high school I thought things would be better, but I am plagued everyday by the names of Anorexic, Bulimic, and many other words that simply tear me apart. I work everyday to get better, but somedays I just break down and cry…
Is there anyone out there who understands?…. Feeling lost right now and alone….
3 comments
War can change a person at the core. If you’ve ever seen the things that happen in battle you may understand why your father has become more callous, they’re things that never leave your mind. It’s great that you try each day to improve though, don’t convince yourself that you’re ugly, or not good enough. If you have problems with your weight, you may want to speak to a therapist/nutritionist.
Everyone breaks down, it’s natural, cry if you need to, but make sure when you’re done that you become a stronger person for it.
Best wishes <3
I often feel like ever since i was diagnosed with a mental illness and tried suicide several times ive been misunderstood and thought to be a person who likes being this way.Who wants to be alone or sad all the time.Not me.My family sometimes is dissapointed me.My youngest sister when shes really upset tries to make me feel bad about the wrongs ive done.Ive stopped putting up with peoples stupidity.I used to let people push me around a lot. when i put a stop to it i still struggle cause my biggest struggle is not other people its me.
My parents dont drink or smoke but there used to be a lot of violent fights occuring.It was scary but for it to end i had to endure it long enough.I had to reach deep within myself to find strength to move on.And today the fights dont happen and if they do there not the worst that theyve been.I struggle still.I hope that i can survive today or maybe just a little bit longer to and hopefully you will to
I understand how you both feel but DON’T GIVE UP. The world needs special sensitive wonderful creative people like you. I know many veterans who struggle from post traumatic stress syndrome and sadly, things they have witnessed remain frozen in time and out of the blue something can trigger those memories and take them back to those moments in time. Sometimes the vets use alcohol to fight those memories. I can tell you from experience that when someone who drinks too much says cruel mean things, they are sometimes angry at themselves and take it out on whomever happens to be there. It’s hard to put up with and don’t feel like you have to deal with it on your own. Here’s a phone number you both can call (and Sammie your dad can call too)…just to talk someone trained to help with all sorts of life’s problems. It’s free and you can call anytime.Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) I think it is wonderful that you write positive things about yourself–good job–the fact that you are reaching out shows you know you have a lot to offer the world. You have a lot to look forward to and don’t worry, you’ll get there. The things you are feeling are very normal. It doesn’t hurt you to have a good cry–it actually helps. Sometimes when I feel down and it has been pretty often, it helps me to watch movies and when I cry it releases the tension. I planted a flower garden this summer and whenever I’m sad I go out there and look at the beautiful flowers, amazed at the colors. I like to watch our kittens play hide and seek in the flowers. I encourage you to enjoy the simple things–the beauty of a rainbow, the soothing sound of the rain. Keep trying and talk to someone who can give you ideas how to deal with the things that are bothering you. Things will get better–try not to solve all your problems in one day—just work on things a little at a time. You both sound like wonderful people. have you seen the Odd life of timothy Green? Very sweet beautiful movie. Best wishes.