Hey everyone again

After the little incident, I’ve kind of calmed down. It took me a panic attack and about an hour of biting viciously to calm down. Which sucks. I broke my personal goal of no more biting. :/

I think I’m letting this situation get out of hand. I tore myself up about it and now I just need to let it go. For crap’s sake, it’s college. I don’t understand why I beat myself up over a fucking one night stand. So for a few days, I’ve been recovering from my stupidity and getting back on track with classes. It was going pretty well. Then last night I had quidditch practice followed by my martial arts class. Well rugby boy decided to tag along to the martial arts class. His reason to go was legit so I just brushed it off. During Quidditch he really liked to target me in a few of our drills. For Beaters, dodging and aiming. -_- He decided to always be in my group and try to partner up with me. That annoyed me but I got over it because I can’t let that crap get between me and Quidditch. After quidditch, we’re beat up and dirty… I head to martial arts class. I showed up early because I wanted to lay down on the floor before everyone got there. So I’m laying there… dozing off… And he just randomly shows up. I didn’t hear him because I was listening to my Ipod. Son of a ***** just laid right on top of me. Not in a ‘nice’ way either. It felt like he was trying to tackle me. So I was crushed. He lays there for a few minutes before I tell him to get the fuck off. He rolls off, ok, it’s fine. Then practice started and blah blah…

We started practicing some escapes from wrist grips. He was partnered with me. The entire time he kept staring at me and grinning. He would dig his nails into my skin and really really squeeze hard on my wrist. (My goal is to keep a lot of bruises to prove I’m doing something with my life) And he looks at me and says ‘Want more bruises? I know plenty of more interesting ways to give you some.’ So then I attack him. It was fine, it was martial arts class. The good thing was everyone knew I was kind of violent so they cheered me on and continued with the practice no problem. So we’re grappling on the floor and I manage to get him in a choke hold. I tell him to knock that crap off, I’m taking this shit seriously. Then he switches that around and almost breaks my arm. He says ‘I’m taking it seriously too, but you’re just too damn distracting.’

Practice ends, nothing happens, which makes me happy. I went to my friend’s room in the dorm and we watched some tv show. Then he texts me out of nowhere and says ‘do you want to be anally raped tonight?’ I told him to shut up. ‘Oh come on, you like it.’ I told him to die. ‘Oh fiesty, I like that.’ I’ll kick your fucking ass. ‘That would be interesting to see after that hot martial arts class.’ What the hell is up with you? ‘Seeing you sweaty and working all the time gets me hard.’ I’m not interested, go find a hoe to fuck, there are plenty around here. ‘Hoes are nothing, you’re so much better.’

Then I refuse to text back. He sends random crap like ‘hey’, ‘yo’, etc. I saw him this morning, well not really. I was standing around outside drinking starbucks waiting for class and he walked up behind me and basically dry humped me. Needless to say, he’s pissing me off. I can tell he’s interested in me as a fuck buddy, and I don’t want to be a fuck buddy. Nor a buddy of any stupid fuck. I’m thinking that the way to hold him off is to just keep refusing to ‘go to his place’ or to ‘hang out with him’ outside of Quidditch or martial arts class.