I’m in terrible pain. For the last 20 years, I have always had thoughts of suicide, but for one reason or another, didn’t do it. I have been miserable since high school. I have always been a loser, who was told so by his father, then his grandmother and by all his so-called friends who do nothing more than use me. I am nothing more than pen, when the ink runs dry, I’m discarded. Right now, I’m totally broke, have no friends and feel like I have nothing to live for. I’m beginning to lose my fear of taking the ultimate step. A few years ago, I had a friend who took his own life because he couldn’t bear the hurt anymore. Like him, I am reaching the stage where I just can’t bear tomorrow anymore because all it does is bring me more pain, more burdens and more hardship.
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I can’t offer any advice other then to say I to know some of your pain and can offer you a hug if you want it.
Hey guys, how’s you all doing? I’ve not been on in a while, but thought I’d pop in for a bit. So mrmatt I can assure you I feel the same way, and have the same thoughts. I’m about the same age as you and although I know I’m not that old I still feel tired, worn and haggard and think I’m starting to look older than I actually am (40) big time. I guess that’s a lifetimes worth of suffering, failure and instability starting to show on me and the fact I haven’t ever really taken care of my health as much as I should’ve. Like you I want out too, as those who’ve read my previous posts will know. But with me there are; how shall I put it, interpersonal complications holding me back from what I want to do. I wasn’t meant for this world, I’m an alien in my own society. I don’t belong, I never have and I never will. Let me go, let me go let me go…
I know it’s Extrmeely hard. It’s hard for me to live each day as I’m hating my self and my own life so bad . But I would hate to see you go. I may not know you personally but I do genuinely care and if you need to , you can talk to me here’s my email hmeomm@yahoo.com
I might not know how you feel or fully understand how you are feeling….
But I can relate to your thoughts and feelings….
I have similar feelings… I wish I wasn’t so scared of the pain and possibility of failure… How did you friend kill himself ? if it’s not too rude to ask.
My friend took his father’s shotgun, put it in his mouth and blew his brains out.
@Black Swan.
You intrigue me….