Friendship is sometimes painful,because my friendship is painful.
Actually, It been since 2 months  I talked with my friendship. The reason? Because one of my friend dont want to talk to me. I miss them. But when I see that they are happy without me it’s hurt me alot. I was not special to them.I was only a person to hang out when they were alone or to use when they are bored. I know. For them I am always the bad girl who make problems. But i want to change that I want to show them that i can be a good friend. Everynight I cry myself to sleep. When we were all together it was so nice and we had so much fun but until the day I had to left them because of my study they don’t want to talk to me anymore.That’s hurt. Nowadays I am just more afraid to meet them again,I don’t know I dont want to see them or they saw me because I know if they ignore me I will be so hurt and if they ask me too many questions I will cry. I was born weak. Today,one of my friend want to explain things with me. I dont know what to say to her,I dont know how I have to react. I’m confused but In the bottom of  my heart I’m a bit glad she will come to see me but at the same time I’m afraid she will bring that another friend that made all the fuss between all of us. I know it’s hard to understand but right now my hands are shaking and all I want to do is to end my life. But I can’t before I tried many times but everytime it was a fail.Well,Can someone help me? I need help. I was not that type of person who will ask for help anytime because I was scared if people will reject me but this time I seriously need help.
Thank You for reading my story.