There is one person I know who would actually care if I killed myself and I decided to tell her about everything… She is 17, one year older than I am and I think that telling her was definitely a good thing. She was upset, I cried and she was shocked because I had never said anything about it. She didn’t really know what to say and asked me “Then… what do you need?” [to get better…] and I didn’t really know how to answer… What do I need? Happiness… But how do I get that? More medication? Going out more? Making friends? Somehow it seems difficult. I said I didn’t know what I needed but going to a psychologist really wasn’t helping at all. I’m glad I told her but also I feel bad because she felt sad that she didn’t know what to do or say… I don’t want her to treat me differently, I just wanted to tell someone who cared, that’s really it. Hmm….
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i know the feeling when psychologists dont seem to be helping. Its really hard to find the right one. Sounds like you are on the righ track if you have told someone, once you open up more to others around you it almost feels like weight is being lifted. Even though the pain is very real, it is somehow comforting when someone else either really understands or knows what you are going through. This can sometimes ease the pain.