i’ve never been a fan of halloween, but this year i cancelled plans with my best friend to drink 1.5 litres of wine, right out of the bottle, in my pajamas, in bed, playing with my box cutter, keeping quiet so my roommates don’t know i’m home.
i just can’t compete in this world.. everyone makes living and smiling look so easy but it just isn’t for me.
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not a huge fan of halloween… my best friend didn’t invite me out and frankly, I want to kill myself as I feel like useless… but instead, tonight I”m drinking Irish Trashcans at my apt alone… living is not easy… the hardest part about this world is living in it. you can see the posts on FB. it seems people are having fun and happy.. but when you really know a person, their life isn’t glamorous, it’s just as sad as your own… but when you*feel* alone… which is just about everyone, it’s hard to keep living…. I hope you don’t end your life as I struggle to not end my own. keep living, someone loves you and would miss you dearly.
~your best friend
maybe our friends should go out together and we’ll stay in and get drunk together.
tonight i won’t be ending anything but this bottle… i’m lucky enough to pass out when i drink too much, so that’s my goal for tonight.
morbid goal? fuck it, don’t care.
i know you’re right that other people’s lives aren’t glamourous, but it’s just so hard to believe it when they’re all smiles and laughs.
cheers friend
haha! indeed, perhaps they should!
It is super hard for me to believe that everyone has some hidden pains in their lives… once in awhile I get reminded that everyone has hard time, like when i look into my best friend’s eyes…her life seems so glamorous, and yet it is not at all that way…
It is a morbid goal, drinking…and yet I’m kinda doing the same thing to keep myself from using drugs instead.
*raises glass* I wish you luck in getting passing out drunk!