Birthday Wishes

i had a birthday two weeks ago. i distanced myself from the few family members who insisted on trying to celebrate, because i feel personally sickened by the fact that i am still here for yet another year of suffering.

i realize that i may be lucky to have anyone who cares at all, but the one person i truly wanted to hear from, my best friend for more than a decade, the love of my life, my wife for almost three years… she said and did nothing. not even a text message.

birthdays are the worst days, when you are so alone.

@Rain – see, i know she didn’t forget my birthday. she chose to ignore it. for me, that is so much more painful than forgetting… but maybe that’s just me.

love is many wonderful and painful things.

while i agree that love isn’t purposely painful, in this situation, i feel she was only trying to look out for her best interests. apparently, having me in her life is no longer what she wants. so why would she waste the time wishing me well on my birthday. apparently it’s what people do… they act as if the other person never existed or mattered.

she loved me for many years. and then somehow decided to just stop. but that’s not the point… my birthday was not something i wished to celebrate, because she was all that made my life worth celebrating.