So after hours of deliberation, multiple new cuts, and a few realizations, it has come to be apparent that I should in fact attempt suicide once more. This will be the 3rd real dedicated attempt and hopefully the last. If I wake up in a hospital bed ahain I will be beyond pissed off. This would is beyond fucked up. Good people die, good people suffer, and assholes get to keep living happy lives. So I’m not gonna live in this world anymore. I don’t care if there’s another one ill go to when I die, I’d actually prefer to cease to exist. Ehatever happens happens i guess.
6 comments
have you ever stopped to think theres a reason why you survived those first two attempts, most people get a third chance your special your meant to be here for a reason. and you say good people die, well why not change that how about you live then one person didn’t die and then live your life to it’s fullest then one good person didn’t suffer
Because I’m not a good person. I’m awful. I’m a walking deathnote to anyone I meet. The world is so much better off without me fucking more things up in it
have you purposelly caused somone pain, killed a man, fought for a cause you didn’t belevie in, if not your still a good person and you can do good things you can be a positive influence to peopl, one smile from you could make someone day, lending a helping hand to someone could make all the diffrence in the world to them.
I constantly fight to live another day when in truth I think I really should just be dead. No one notices when I’m not around, I make no difference in anybody’s life except when I screw things up for them. Id rather have my parents pay a thousand dollars for a funeral than suck their life savings away slowly bit by bit. I’d rather stop lying to myself and everybody else that I’m okay and things are gonna get better because its been a year since my first attempt that got me hospitalized and I’m right back to where I was exactly one year ago.
well i noticed you, i saw your post so one person noticed you, and trust me no matter what no one wants to see there child die before them, no mother should go through that. finally you need game plan, what do you want to do with your life?
Don’t do it, even if it doesn’t seem that way there is plenty of people that notices you, as fallenanagel7 said. Your parents would suffer a big deal, and feel very guilty about it.
It is hard for them to understand what you are going through, but I am sure they love you, and you will do no good by killing yourself.
THere has to be something you like about yourself. Focus on that. And stop blaming yourself about stuff, and thinking you are the worst person. I am sure you are not.
Are you seeing a specialist to help you with your problem?
Even if this world seems cruel and pointless, and maybe it is, there is a huge amount of amazing things to see and know. And there is tons of people that are great.
You can make the world a better place by just not killing yourself.
And then you could do other things to help people. Be kinder to your parents, a smile can save a world sometimes.
Stop focusing on the bad.
I for one will be sad if you don’t answer this messages again. I want to know you are going to keep on living.