I feel so empty all the time. I just want to curl up in a ball and scream, but I just keep walking, with that same expression on my face. Is this really how life is supposed to be? With all these people, trying to save themselves, from themselves? Trying not to end their own life, trying to keep breathing?
Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it. What’s the point? What’s coming ahead that’s so important? Just more and more shit. Taxes, jobs, mortgages, college, high school, I’m only 13! I have a whole life in front of me, but all I can see is gray. Why bother? Why live on until tomorrow, so you can get hurt over and over again? So you can fight back that urge, that urge to scream, “I’M NOT OKAY!!”? So you can smile at them, put on the mask again? Why?
1 comment
hi. just like you i think about this stuff as well. and im 14. and people look at you and they ask whats wrong? but you dont have hte energy to tell them becuase you dont feel like they understand you? so you just reply with im fine. im okay. i’ll get to live to a ripe old age but in your head your going, no im not. im gonna die today and these are my fake words to you. see. you know what my parents tell me when i cry over something? whats the use. but i like to cry. it releases the hurt within me and it makes life that much bearable. so cry. cry as much as you want. and im not sure how i save myself from dying but i wanna see as much as i can in the world.
thankyou.
if you wanna talk some more lemme know (: