Tired of this

I have never done anything like this before. Never posted or even talked the way I feel right noW. oh well here goes.  I’m 29 years old and I’ve been battling with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I won’t get into my childhood but lets just say it wasn’t good And it left its scars. That aside what’s bothering me is it just never seems like anything will go right for long. Everytime I claw my way out of a problem there’s five more around the corner. I just can’t seem to stay on top. It’s overwhelming and I’m getting tired of repeating this cycle. I’m so tired of forcing myself to get going  I started to not see a point in trying anymore  what’s the end game?  My life is so consumed with keeping my head together that I can’t concentrate on anything else. Namely personal relationships. I just don’t see thepoint anymore. why try when I’m always one lil bump away from another breakdown. The thought of ending it becomes more appealing everyday now cause I’m just so tired of trying and always being a burden on those around me.