Am I the only one that really believes I’m a walking accident?
I mean…. I’ve lost/annoyed everyone I know and I’m to much of a freak to meet new people. Most of the time everyone annoys me, and I dont mean a small aggitation, I’m on wanting to duct tape poeople up and leave them tape to the wall…. And yeah, that’s not normal.
I’m currently fighting with my ‘best friend’. We used to be so close and now I do t even know what book she’s reading! We became friends because the group of people we hung around will all turned avainst us and we literally had no one. So we went to eachother, even though we orriginally hated eachothers guts. But now we are.. Shall I call it friends? With some of the girls we orginally fell out with and with the fact she seems more occupied with her mums ex-boyfriend we hardly ever speak.
She was the only person I really trusted ad the past few months have been living hell! I don’t know how I manage to make everyone wasn’t to leave me in a ditch with a pack it wild dogs, but yeah it seems I manage it quite easily.
I don’t see the point in staying alive, I just want to die. But knowing my luck I’d fail at it, or get caught halfway through. Let alone screw my family up if u succeed or not. I just want to run away and cone back 2years later, that way I could see what would happen if I left. They probarlly wouldn’t even notice, or they’d tell me to go back into the wood or something….. Yeah, I’ll shut up now
4 comments
Hey AvoidingReality,
Nice rant…are you feeling just a wee bit better? I kinda chuckled when you talk about failing even at suicide…cause I’m a nine time loser myself…hahaha
Just wanted you to know someone heard
Lots of Love
Amakua
Hey amakua,
Yeah thanks :’) I don’t know it just had to be said yano? And I’m sorry to hear that, but thank you for the consideration.
And I have to tell you the truth, reading that comment did make me laugh, the beginning bit that is.
Lots of love
Avoiding reality
Hey There….my neighbour and I frequently kid about duct taping people up…hahaha…we act as each other’s conscience…but the idea is appealing for sure. Are you 100% sure that’s not normal?…hahahaha
Okay…fun over…hmmm….my Dad told me once a long, long time ago…ahem…I am old eh?…that if you were fortunate to have one true friend in your life…you were very lucky…because the simple fact is…most of us don’t. Seems like everyone has there own agenda…and they use each other to get their needs met. Some of that is okay…sometimes it coincides with your needs…and that is great. But people usually come into your life for a time, a reason, or a season…but forever is a fairytale for most. This is not a bad thing….it’s just not what we want to hear eh?
Oh yeah…and then there are also the shallow egomaniacs…but that’s life…and most people tend to be reciprocal with their attention. I scratch your back, you scratch mine eh? This is why when we are seriously depressed…everyone seems to walk away all at the same time. They have to think of themselves at some point…and so do we. Perhaps it is just time to move on and make yourself better friend potential.
Sorry if I’m being too honest…but I am old as I said…and although I have lots of friends…none of them are from school. I lose touch with old friends all the time and meet new ones…its okay.
Hope you find a new friend soon…and I hope you meet your best friend…you!!
Lots of Love
Amakua
Ahaha you never know it might be normal. You advise was great, thank you. Don’t worry about being too honest, it better to be blinded by the truth than be shadowed by lies. I don’t feel as clueless anymore on what to do with the situation!
Many thanks
Avoiding reality 🙂