Falling apart

Recently I have been eating just like everyone else but making myself vomit after I have been doing this for the past week. I am developing bulimia… I can’t eat  now with out wanting or needing too throw up. I noticed tonight at dinner that I was starting off lightly on the food and towards the end I was stuffing my face and then going to the bathroom right after. This afternoon before lunch I stuffed my face with food and then throwing up shortly after. I haven’t been cutting but instead throwing up. I do not like how every time I eat all I think about is wanting too throw up after. I have always been self conscious about my body but nothing too serious… now I am turning to  an eating disorder and I am afraid of what will happen too me…. I started this on christmas eve after I ate a huge meal and liked being able too eat and then simply get rid of it…  I know whats going too happen too me but I just can’t help but not care…