How do you learn to live for yourself?

(I’m so very tired and frazzled, so forgive me if I don’t answer your questions correctly or coherently)

“In a sense, don’t we live for them (family etc.) ”

Yes, in a sense. It does depend on the relationship with them. In a healthy relationship with others such as family, friends and those who you are attached to the “living for them” is mutual. Both people who are involved in the relationship benefit from it. Although it might appear as though one person is solely responsible or only one person benefits from it, both people do. The comfort of one another, the joys and sorrow that people share, the knowledge and opinions they exchange. Both people benefit from it. Although it may appear as though “You are living for them” they are also living for you.

“Isn’t life not worth living anymore if those people are gone?”

Again, it also really depends. Every thing changes with time, bonds and relationships with others also change. If they are gone it would be very devastating I can imagine, but with time one must move on and will establish new relationships. Life would be worth living because it is so fluid. There are endless possibilities that are present, even if everyone you were attached to was gone. Of course, it’s easy for me to say that now in the comfort of my own home without any of my “attachments” gone. It all depends on the person, for the value of living life is different for everyone.

“What’s the point in living if everyone eventually leaves you?”

Again, as mentioned earlier it depends on how a person views this. People come and go, such is life of course but with each passing person one gains a little bit from them. They mature a little bit, with the mind, the soul and conscious. The point of living (for me I guess you could say) would be developing and learning from each new experience from these people. This question is similar to “What is the point of living if you eventually die?” Of course, it will happen eventually and inevitably, but it’s how you fill in the gap between that defines its value. Back to your question though, it does sound a pessimistic. Those who truly value you and care will not leave so quickly. The chance to experience the relationship while it lasts may very well be the “point” in living. The opportunity to experience and create new ones as time goes on as well.

“How can someone live solely and truly for themselves and what does that even mean?”

Living for yourself means recognizing the value and potential in your life and living by those standards. To live for yourself (although this is purely my opinion) does not necessarily mean being selfish. It means doing what is best for yourself before taking care of others needs. This connects to your next question “What’s the point in having happiness if you can’t share it with the people closest to you?” (in my opinion) The idea of happiness is a self rewarding emotion. If you can put yourself first, before other people then experiencing happiness alone is very benefiting. Being happy by yourself is by no means a bad thing. Sometimes happiness cannot be shared with others, but is a special feeling that one feels alone. Just because you have a gift (in this case happiness) does not mean you should have to share it with anyone. Recognizing that, and learning and experiencing it by yourself could very well be the “point” of having happiness that cannot be shared with others.

Thanks for your post, sorry for my ramblings. Cheers. 🙂