Happy, smiling, laughing, enjoying myself.
Yeah, one day I should become an actor.
I only be what people expect me to be.
I fake my happiness to get though the day without questions.
I’ve developed a people phobia, and now when people come running towards me, I start to shake but they don’t see that. Because I smile and say “Omg good to see you”.
I’ve got low self esteem but people tell me I’m beautiful, I say “thanks pretty, we’re all beautiful.” I hate the life I live. But people think I love it, because I say “life couldn’t get any better!” People only see what they want to see, and if the don’t see or hear what they expect they automatically stare and ask questions. I HATE questions.
If people actually cared, they wouldn’t look at me with disgust and judgement.
If only people could feel what I feel, what you feel, what we all feel, maybe, just maybe they’d understand and stop their shit.
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7 comments
loveisdifficult,
alot of people can’t handle talking about problems or thinking about them that’s their way of handling them,the way you feel on the inside nobody really knows other than you,sure i’m deperresd but am i as deperssed as you, phobias are hard to fight! i have a phobia about snakes but what the hell i never see them so what! but people! you need to work on that one no choice! were all actors some us us get paid some of us don’t. keep up the battle i feel like you but i can’t let it win either.
Easier said then done.
loveisdifficult,
“Easier said then done”
yes it is, but i’m doing it and no it’s not all peaches and cream there is alot of pits,but i can’t just lock myself up and quit.
I never quit.
I’m also not you, yeah you’re probably trying to help but its a weird way to do so.
We all struggle and I’m pretty sure I’m ment to feel free on here and write whatever without all the questions and suggestions.
loveisdifficult,
I really do want to help, Sorry I do take a different approach, that’s the only way I know, I try to comment so people don’t get ignored, some just want to vent I’m learning that, but while I learn please be patient with me, I want everybody to get better including myself. Tonight was a bad night for me too, sorry.
loveisdifficult,
this is one of my post
“Rotten Day”
i’ve spent 3 hrs on the phone trying to located heilum tanks! no body answers or they don’t have them,i will find them! now i’m on my way to the hardware store to get plastic tubbing and other stuff. you see this is how a normal day screws with me.
<3