I wish I could be happy forever.

I was finally out of a depressive episode and am not actively looking to die, and now I feel myself spiraling down again. The past few days were so nice, and I was so happy, and motivated. I talked to people, went outside, kept on top of all my schoolwork, and made time my hobbies and even got to enjoy that time spent. It was just so much easier, and I had energy to actually do stuff. But now I feel myself getting dragged down into the depths again, and I’m just so scared. I’ve never been this scared before to sink back down into depressions, in fact before it was comfy. But now that I know what the highs can feel like, I don’t want to go back down into the lows again. I feel so helpless, watching myself start sink back down into depression and knowing that there isn’t much I can do about it except try to brace myself for the storm.

Also, I’m new here, hi 🙂