I need reasons to stay alive. I can’t kill myself at the moment for a few reasons. When it does come time for me to go, I’ll go to heaven or hell when I’m old. What difference does it make if I choose an earlier time? Death is death, just like an apple is an apple no matter the colour. Once my reasons for living have run out, I’m gonna kill myself. Somehow. I’ll need access to successful methods, but I’ll have a few years to work it out. I used to not believe in euthanasia, now if you ask me to help you die, I’d do that in a heartbeat. I’d feel sad, but I’d understand that if you didn’t die now you’d die later. I don’t care about painless and peaceful only, it can be any way except for a car crash, electrocution and jumping under a train. Other ways are fine, I just need the right time in say five or ten years if life isn’t better than it is now. If it is, I’ll relent from my threat to kill myself. If life changes, but not for the better, goodbye world.