I sat in the cafeteria at school this morning waiting for school to start, i was at a table all to myself and i kept looking at my phone, no one was texting me but i wanted to look like i had some friends you know..
After about 20 minutes a boy looks over at me his table is overflowing with his friends and asks “are you lonely? i think your lonely”
I laughed and said “no they’ll be here soon, their bus is just running a bit late”
I turned around and whispered ” they’ll never be here.. cause i dont have any..”
After me and Tanner broke up, all the friends i had met before them stopped talking to me, and he still hangs out with them so it just odd talking to them now.. if you know what i mean when he’s always with them.
So i sat their alone a few people came over and talked to me, then my friend Dylan arrived he’s the one guy that talks to me, while walking in the hallway one day i went up and high fived him in the middle of his teacher yelling at him. We’ve been talking ever since, he reads me stories whenÂ i cant fall asleep, he doesnt know much bout my past just knows i have insomnia and its hard to fall asleep. He has ADHD so he knows what its like.
He always makes me laugh even when i’m sad.. i kept looking tanners way though. Its so odd he’ll talk to me out of the blue somedays and sometimes it like im not even their.. i wish i knew what he was thinking.. i know he only wanted me for sex.. but.. i dont know anymore.
The butterflies on my wrist have yet faded.. i’m trying to hold out till then.