Tag:

Out Of The Blue

to those who all want to end life with suicide

by nofeelingsnopain 8/24/2013

written by nofeelingsnopain

Look,

You should be thankful, you got a chance to live. And everyone must know, nobody ever said that life is easy. I know the feeling of pain and not being loved, or teased by the one you love, problems at home or just a feeling you get out of the blue, that really hurts, that you just want to be in a dark room, nodody knowing where you’re at, no food, or social connection, or lights.. just slowly languishing. To be honest, I’ve thought about suicide a lot. And yes, I’ve hurted myself, with just scratches on my hand, I was just so angry, and […]

8/24/2013 6 comments

A life of someone living with Depression, Anxiety and Autism

by oliviadee 7/31/2013

written by oliviadee

I can’t exactly say when it started because I don’t know, my life has just been full of bad events snowballing until I finally released it all.

From a very young age I felt alienated from everyone, I felt that nobody was like me.

It didn’t help that I had a young mother, she had me at 14, Â because I felt that she wasn’t approachable. Also, she was often getting into new relationships which involved a lot of men. I found it very hard ad still find it very hard, to connect with new people so this was an issue for the first 5 years of my […]

7/31/2013 7 comments

by SadSteve 6/7/2013

written by SadSteve

As I have mentioned many times before here on tsp, In 2002 I reclined the seat in my car in the garage and closed my eyes and waited but before I fell asleep forever I kept seeing images of my 1 yr old niece and 5 year old nephew. Â I got out of the car went up to bed, cried and have been living in pain ever since. Â But its all worth it after days like today, when they show up out of the blue and we spend some hours having fun swimming, playing wiffle ball and just being around these 2 great kids makes […]

6/7/2013 2 comments

Nothing Is Up

by strangemusic 4/20/2013

written by strangemusic

Today my parents are away, so I think I can hang around here not being afraid they’d be peeking into my laptop. And I can ask this silly questing, how do I do it? How do I get diabetes?

And don’t ask what is up with me, ’cause nothing is up. I just still can’t figure out the trick. So many people get it just out of the blue, without ever trying to. I know it has a lot to do with heredity, but not always the case. If it doesn’t run in my family, so I can never get it? I don’t believe it. There […]

4/20/2013 4 comments

Sunny

by FriendOfAFriend 2/11/2013

written by FriendOfAFriend

Sunny yesterday my life was filled with rain.

I have given up to the point of no return, I can’t get out of bed, I don’t go to school, I don’t do anything but sit on my lazy ass all day. My dad has decided to not pay for post secondary, he however will pay me back for every semester I pass , that seems fair to me, it makes for a better excuse as to why I don’t want to go, it’ll be because I’m “saving up “. Im so content with mediocrity Â it’s pathetic I don’t want to strive for anything better i just […]

2/11/2013 0 comment

[Notification of intent…3]

by Dead Right 1/23/2013

written by Dead Right

I noted a reply to one of my earlier posts that stated I was not actually talking about committing suicide immediately or maybe that was never my intent at all. To this I reply, if you were around on the Suicide Project six to twelve months ago you would not think that.Â The only reason I did not finish the job was because I was evicted from my home of 20 years because I had lost my job and became broke very fast.
Prior to becoming homeless last April, I had my Final Exit all planned out and was only waiting for the best time…for me.

The […]

1/23/2013 3 comments

Daily school life

by BrooklynBoxx 1/9/2013

written by BrooklynBoxx

I sat in the cafeteria at school this morning waiting for school to start, i was at a table all to myself and i kept looking at my phone, no one was texting me but i wanted to look like i had some friends you know..

After about 20 minutes a boy looks over at me his table is overflowing with his friends and asks “are you lonely? i think your lonely”

I laughed and said “no they’ll be here soon, their bus is just running a bit late”

I turned around and whispered ” they’ll never be here.. cause i dont have any..”

After me and Tanner broke […]

1/9/2013 5 comments

Rock bottom.

by lilyrain 12/18/2012

written by lilyrain

I’ve been going through the motions for years now. I’ve put on a brave face, told myself if I try hard enough that life would be great, I’ve done it all. I tried drinking my problems away but my presistent optimism kept my from becoming a real alcoholic. Just recently my best friend and one of the few men I’ve ever loved got married. Out of the blue kind of married. Just a few days before all of it we were sleeping together. To top it off he got married 3 days after my birthday, lol he’s an ass but I do still love him. […]

12/18/2012 2 comments

Soultion to my problems

by Arianna1997 12/15/2012

written by Arianna1997

Hello my name is Arianna I am 15 years old. I have no reason to live. i hate this I hate all of this. I hate the human beings in this world who make it their job to judge and bully. I hate the models out there that are the pure essence of beauty when they are all bones and skin. I hate the stupid corrupted police system that turns a blind eye to a child being sexually abused because it’ll make their job easier to sit on their lazy asses!
So here I sit in hate with blood dripping from my wrists writing to […]

12/15/2012 4 comments

Friends

by Anonymous 9/29/2012

written by Anonymous

I love my friends with all my heart, but it really seems like they just don’t care about me. Saying they do is one thing, but doing is another. Whenever they need help, I’m there. Whenever they need anything, I’m there. It could be just a small problem and I’ll listen to them no matter what. I have picked them up in the middle of nights many times. I do things without expecting a thank you in return. But whenever I’m feel sad or hurt they just give some one-liner bullshit like “Oh, I’m sorry.” Then they move on with their day. I’ll be honest […]

9/29/2012 6 comments

I am a horrible person.

by fourshots22 9/7/2012

written by fourshots22

Ive always had this depression and I never really tried to get rid of it because it helps with my art.Ive never been good at anything but that especially writting I tend to over write….like right now.Its never been this bad but I guess its becuse ive never fucked up this bad and I know youre going to think of me as one of the most cruel horrible heartless dumbasses but I assure you, I do have a heart Im just stupid.Back in highschool my freshman year was just a blur I mean it started off bad I was hit by suburban the third […]

9/7/2012 6 comments

by darkestcornersofthemind 8/23/2012

written by darkestcornersofthemind

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck i want to die. ive been sitting at the train station all night. all i wanted to do was lay on the tracks. my one true love texted me out of the blue. what the hell why, why tonight? i was going to do it tonight and she stopped me. fuck.

8/23/2012 2 comments

My Story

by Kimberly 7/25/2012

written by Kimberly

Okay, Here i go i am 15 year old girl i have been cutting my self since i was 10 and ive had enough i cant take it no more i wanna die just dont wanna hurt the people who i love but i have to many resons to do it i live with the pain on me every day that i wasnt even suppost to be here in the first place i was a mistake the only reson im here is my mom was to far along for an abortiuos i dont live with her i got stuck on my grand parents since i […]

7/25/2012 3 comments

Why I stay

by SomeMalaise 7/4/2012

written by SomeMalaise

I’ve been suicidal since 7. No one knew but me. I tried to choke myself , or I’d tried to freeze to death. Nothing took me out but exhaustion. Too tired to finish. Some who know me are glad I’m still here. I’m not in a way, but it’s so complex to help anyone understand.

I had therapy since 11 or 12 till now. each one different and 2 fresh minds listened. I had doctors for pans unexplained. A few were answered the rest I had to just accept. They come and go.

All throughout those times death came across my mind. Across my eyes. I […]

7/4/2012 2 comments

I don’t know what to do with myself

by RJo 6/28/2012

written by RJo

I don’t want to die-on most days. But sometimes I get so depressed it seems like a good solution. It just passes my mind out of the blue when I’m crossing a river or crossing the street. What if.

I thought I’d had it all figured out by now and it’s not like that. Not knowing what to do with your life at 20 isn’t a good idea. I feel like I’m gonna screw up, alone with a boring job I hate, surrounded by people I have nothing in common with, my parents are going to be so disappointed.They are going to die and I’ll […]

6/28/2012 5 comments

is it moral

by fireflieslite 5/7/2012

written by fireflieslite

It’s really disgusting to hear some successful story of how someone being happy by adopting the manipulation of others.

One instance that, the famous actor Woody Allen broke the trust between being a father and his adopted daughter by engaging in sex, saying that it’s all because of love.

It’s like, while a girl is sad and in need of comfort, by pathetically crying into the arms of a gay flatmate, naked with just a thin bed-lining covered, and afterward boldly announced to others that somehow it was the gay that initiated and
seduced to have sex.
So, wasn’t there a trust already announced solidly at the […]

5/7/2012 35 comments

Who knew I could get so worked up over something so small?

by rainbowsh3rb3rt 4/25/2012

written by rainbowsh3rb3rt

I’m crazy, I must be crazy. Out of the blue I took a pen and sticky note and wrote “Hey, I like you. and this is crazy, but here’s my love note, so prom….maybe?” on it, then stuck it to the locker of the girl I want to ask out to prom. WHY DID I DO THAT?

I don’t know what to think, but I did it, it’s done, and nobody can erase it now…unless I somehow get to her locker before she does, open it up, take it off, and hide it before anyone can see? But that won’t work. No. I have to get […]

4/25/2012 3 comments

How can I change this?

by jennipei 1/2/2012

written by jennipei

Hello,

I’m new here and just want to get some things off of my chest. I am so exhausted, I don’t know what to do anymore. All I think about is death. I know I am to weak to do it myself, but sometimes I wish it would happen in different ways. I have asked my husband for help and he acts like there is nothing wrong. Isn’t it bad to constantly think about death and how happy everyone else would be if I were gone? I know the only reason I am to scared to take action myself is because I have 3 children that […]

1/2/2012 9 comments

When the World Doesn’t Let You End

by Saeide 7/30/2009

written by Saeide

Well, to be honest I don’t know why I’m here. To be blunt some random guy in a gaming community suddenly linked me to this site out of the blue and I decided that what the heck, I’d share my story since I’ve had self-destructive if not suicidal thoughts lately.

My mother was my world, I was not close to any of my other immediate family members. She’d had cancer for nearly nine years when she finally passed away. My world and life collapsed. I spent a whole week doing nothing but lying in my room, I didn’t eat, I barely slept; I simply laid on […]

7/30/2009 4 comments