All my regrets…

Everyone has regrets, right? Some lies they told, something they did. Well here are all of mine. Please, don’t judge me. Some are past tense, some are present tense. But no matter which tense it is, I’ve never told anyone any of these.

As a child, I never once said please or thank you.

When I was little, I never told anyone anything that happened to me. I never told my mom that my father sexually abused me twice in my life.

I wish I denied the Christmas presents my teachers gave me.(I don’t celebrate Christmas)

I wish I payed more attention to what my parents taught me.

I never told my parents the kids where bullying me. The teachers didn’t pay attention, but my parents would have.

I had annorexia. I somehow, DON’T ask me how, cured myself.

I was sexually harrassed by a boy in my class. I never told anyone, although teachers saw it clear as day.

I used to watch pornography.

I haven’t told my fiancee I’m scared of sex. I almost OD’d on medications. But no one noticed.

I used to tell people God doesn’t care about them, although I believe God cares about everyone.

I used to give up WAY too much.

I smiled although I wasn’t okay.

I smile now, even though I’m not okay.

I never once listened to what I was learning in my Kingdom Hall. (I’m a Jehovah’s Witness)

My parents told me I shouldn’t try to get happiness. I USED to regret not listening to them. Now I know, though, happiness is best attained by searching, not sitting.

I never told my parents I was raped by my dad’s friend. They don’t know about it.

I had a boyfriend on the internet a couple years ago. I broke up with him when he sent me a pic of his butt.

My first kiss was when I was four, and I was pretending to be hurt to get the boy I liked to kiss me.

I’m a good actor; I act the way people see me. But with people that trully know me, I am completely different.

I used to draw boobs.

I look at myself in the mirror, and see the most ugly beast in existance. But I used to never look in the mirror.

People call me ugly all the time. But most people wouldn’t think I found myself hideous.

I wear makeup because it’s the only way I feel comfortable about myself.

I often feel angry for no reason.

I used to beat up my twin brother.

My last regret… That tops them all… I tried to kill myself last night. But I didn’t do it. (Obviously…) I feel terrible about it. That’s my biggest regret.