i don’t even know why i try. no matter what i do ill always be this crappy. I’m too fat, I’m too ugly, I’m not smart enough….im worthless. and idk why I’m spending time writing this post because i don’t even matter. sorry if your reading this. i can’t do anything right.
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If you really thought you were worthless you wouldnt have written that at all. Appearance shouldnt matter to friends, i know some awesome people who arent supermodels and you’re probably exaggerating and saying what people make you think. I took the time to reply to this and I dont care how you look and its always possible to get smarter although you arent going to remember anything if you drift off into self pity/hatred everytime you read or hear someone talk, ect.
i only have one real friend though it seems like…and it feels like i’m slowly losing them…its my fault..so i really shouldn’t be self-loathing. I’m sorry. i just don’t know what else to do-it feels as if my entire world is falling apart
I always liked that song by Jewel where she sings about “Only kindness matters” it really does doesn’t it? Imagine if all people were kind. Imagine if everyone put themselves aside to care about how others felt. I understand the low down on the lack of self worth you’re feeling Skylark. You really are worth something whoever you are. You must if you were created & put together by God. I know that no amount of positivity can change somebody’s mood sometimes or their thoughts but the truth shall set us freeeee! The truth is good. We were all created for something
Everyone makes mistakes and it’s ok to self loathe once in awhile I think. Sometimes people need acrest.
I meant a rest.
thanks AMantleOfBlue, I try to do my best for everyone around me…but it just seems like i always screw everything up…yah know? no matter what…and I feel like everyone would be better off without me even if “only kindness matters”
I think that kindness matters and also allowing yourself to think of your life in the future. That out of the millions of ppeople out there, there must be someone that could be better off WITH you rather then better off without you. Oh yeah & a p.s. to ya! I’m too fat too!! ( at least in my eyes) too fat! Too mean (yes I can be mean) probably from all the unkindness in the world. There are so many seasons to life but also I understand the right now feelings that need relief.
& yes I try to do the best for others to. I am a mother and its difficult to please everyone
but there is no one. I’m a screw up…and I’m sure your not fat…and its not even just now-its always…im always screwing up…im screwing up just by posting….ITS EVERYTHING I DO. i need to stop. there is no relief. i just need to stop
Anyway. I came on here tonight bcuz I am having a horrible day too! To be honest. Trying to quit smoking. My daughter was so excited that I quit 4 days ago but I couldn’t take the stress today and I know she was devestated when I lit a cigarette. Talk about feeling like a failure and seeing that look of disappointment in someones eyes. It really does hurt and bring on feelings of self hate. I sure hope you feel better and everyone else who may feel this way right now. Life can be so difficult
Screwing up by posting?
Sorry. I went on about my life b4 I read your post
Well at least your honest that it’s not just now that u feel like that.
So sorry skylark. Really am. I will pray for you.
meeeh-_- that sounds awful…and sure she may have been disappointed but in her heart- she knows that you are trying…and someday she will thank you for it. It’s okay for you to screw up every once in awhile…as long as she knows your trying…and its obvious by your words that you really care about her so I’m sure she will forgive and forget this because as long as your trying to quit-nothiing else matters…her eyes of disappointment only came because she loves you…a lot…so try and not feel like a failure because if someone loves you that much then your not a failure…you can do this. for your daughter.
but thank for the payers i guess…idk. you don’t have to, i don’t want to be a burden.
O wow! You really are depressed! No burden at all! I am so very sorry for how awful you feel. I mean I feel awful but I think you might feel even more awful. Whatever it is is there a way to fix it?
nope. ill forever be this awful person.
Well geeze. I don’t know what to say to that.
Guess I will say though that you are not always what you believe yourself to be. Like the saying goes. You are what you believe you are? I don’t believe in that saying because even though we can do awful things and we all do! Sometimes we are made to feel awful by others who feel awful too. Thats why we should never think that our self worth is because of what we can or cant do , will or won’t do. There is one truth. That we are worthy enough to be loved wether a person believes that to be true or not. Wethercwe r shown love or not shown love, respect or disrespect. Thatis the truth. So……you’re not awful even if you think so. That’s my belief. You seem very nice.
Thanks for the earlier response on what you said about quitting smoking and my daughter. I didn’t see that before. I was using my phone & it’s hard to type on that thing, but i really appreciate what you said on that. Thank you so much. Makes me cry.