I feel like I’m slowly going crazy. I’m not sure how to explain it, but my mind feels different. I look at things differently. I don’t feel the urge to hurt anyone, not yet, but I feel like everyone would be better off.. gone. Sometimes, in public, I become so engulfed in my thoughts that I don’t notice the people around me. I try talking to close friends and my girlfriend about it, but no one seems to take me seriously. I have these dreams.. I’m walking down a street and it’s like the world is in my hands. It’s revolving around me and I’m in control of everyone’s life. When it ends. How it ends. I spare the kids, pretty much everyone. Everywhere I look, someone is hurting another person. I just keep walking, I won’t stop them, and I just watch. Every couple of minutes, I decide a persons death. Suicide- murdered-tragic accident. I don’t feel any remorse, I am very calm. For the ones that curse me for ending their loved ones life, I feel nothing. I never take a childs life. Ever.
This dream.. it keeps me from sleeping. I need support.
2 comments
It really is a strange feeling when you start saying to yourself, “I’m going crazy, aren’t I?”
If you have access to mental health care, I’d seek it out. You seem very fixable, but you could probably benefit from talking things through with someone. Please know that most dreams are negative. Some theorize they are our mind working through things while we sleep. You don’t want to read too much into them, but it can help to talk though them if they are bothering you. Know that bad dreams are very treatable by medication for many people should you and a doctor decide to go that route.
Everyone is someone’s child. Even you.