I know I’m only 14, but the thing is that all this stress and anger I have is too much, and I can’t cope with it. I’m only on the first year of my GCSEs, and I still have so much more to go through, but the thing is…
…It’s not going to get easier than this.
When people ask me about my future, I smile and say I’ll go to university, get a home and start a family. But really, I can’t see myself having a future. I’m trying to tell people that I will have a future, when I’m not even planning to have one. I don’t even know if I will live to see my 18th birthday. I find it so, so hard just to get through a school day without crying. I’m pretty sure people would want to see me break, but I can’t let them see what I’m going through. The second they do, is the second they win.
The best part of my day is when I go home and start crying. It feels so good, being able to let out all the anger and sadness I have.
The song that I can truly relate to is “I don’t feel very receptive today” by Underoath. It’s impossible to listen to it without crying, because I know exactly what this song is about.
“I feel like cutting it open tonight
And falling on the floor.
There’s nothing left unused in here,
There’s nothing left to say.
I haven’t talked in days,
And I’m really not too sure,
What I sound like anymore.”
11 comments
come on. you can make soo much of your life. your 14!! do it. collage, get a degree, make lots of dough. its hard, but i believe in you.
I understand your feelings 🙂 But can you just hang on for little more? We’re here if you need someone to talk to. You seem like such a nice person ^^ I know you can’t see yourself in the future, neither can I. But you are here now, alive 🙂 Don’t throw it away just yet please 🙁
<3 ravanys
I won’t be able to cope with it:( I’m useless, I will never amount to anything
i believe in you too, give it a shot (to life i mean 😛 ) so much to see stil….
There’s no hope for me
There is always hope for you somatic ^^ We are here for you 🙂 The fact that you are posting and talking instead of killing yourself is a sign of hope 🙂
Hey, I know how you feel.
I tried to kill myself when I was 11. I’m 16 now. So I can relate. You say that it won’t get better. But there’s something crazy we all can do- make it better. If you’re having troubles with people in school, see if you can’t transfer to a different school or start homeschooling. If it’s at home, talk to another trusted adult. You can make things better, I promise.
And hey. If it where really that bad, I wouldn’t be here with you today.
It feels as if nothing will ever change, and i can’t change schools or anything:(
Im 14 too. i feel the same way, your not alone. if you want to talk dubzy4@gmail.com
Oh somatic. Sometimes when a person gets to the point where they just don’t care anymore, to the point where dying would be just fine, then you have NOTHING TO LOSE. Do uncharacteristic things–talk to people you normally wouldn’t, do things you’ve never done before because you were scared or whatever. If you have nothing to lose, you have everything to gain.
Thank you everyone for being here and bothering to read my post<3